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Added a comment to Tone 

Brilliant observations, thank you I will make the changes.


I hear you on not revealing the MC's age. I'm wondering if context would help with that. 

It's a work of stereo perspective. About 10,000 words split into chapters dotted throughout the book. They tell the story of what gave the motivation and belief system to the MC. The remainder of the book is 3rd person and telling his journey to understand and overcome that. 

In the 1st person part he's 9, in the 3rd person he starts at 15 and gets to around 25/30 I haven't quite figured that out yet. I thought keeping the reveal of the 9 year old slow would add to that process, his age is stated in his second chapter. Drip feeding information somewhat, without stating that both are the same person. 

That being said, with my context explained, if you find it hard to find the MC through my vagueness, I need to rethink that.

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