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I've started a final edit of my manuscript and am trying to kill some 'felt's! It's proving easier in some sentences than others... any suggestions on the below:

Robert took a glance at the pristine, navy Surrey Police uniform that his uncle wore and felt like he might be arrested for possession of dangerous goods.

Comments
  • Instead of feeling, you could have him actively respond, something like: …and chuckled; this might get him arrested for… (pick your own action that fits his personality, obviously).

    Also, I'm impressed at you being so sure it's a final edit.

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    • Rick, that's perfect. I can have him grinning. Problem solved - thanks!

      Haha, the first 'final edit' was in 2013, and I've told myself this has got to be the last one, I'm not allowing myself any more time on it. You reach a point where it's like... this will just have to do.

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      • I agree, Rick's suggestion is perfect. Swapping from the external narrator telling, to learning from the character themselves. And that way adds voice. 

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        • Thanks Kate. Following your suggestions, the filtering knife is at the forefront of my editing arsenal!

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          • 😀

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          • Perhaps something like this – Robert graced at his uncle dressed in a pristine navy-blue police uniform.  He and the uniform didn’t belong together.  It felt that he should be arrested for possession of dangerous goods.

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            • Thanks for the suggestion, Camilla.

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