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L.
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Hi, I just wanted to share a short story of mine that was published in print last month. It's a tale about a strange relationship told by an unusual narrator. It's probably one of the favourite short stories I've written. 

https://www.laurevanrensburg.com/short-stories-print-1/uukqe08luy8fa5jj32183m2nv9wnou 

Comments
  • Absolutely wonderful, Laure. Primal, delicate, brutal and tender at one and the same time. I loved it. The emotion is raw and beautiful, and the imagery and core metaphor is spectacular. Thank you for sharing it!

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    • Thanks Jon! 

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    • Hi Laure, a great piece of writing, really enjoyed the use of imagery and the excellent expression of emotion. 

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      • Thanks TJ — I've pretty much worked on it on and off for close to a year until the final result.

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      • Thanks for sharing this, Laure. It has a rhythm and flows so well, I felt like I was reading poetry instead of a short story.

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        • Thanks Julie. I read everything out loud for that particular reason and I have been know to sometimes spend 10 mins on one sentence trying to decide the order of words that sounds the best 😂 

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        • Wow. Beautiful. I was competely immersed, much like your character. I initially thought the narrator was a ghost from her past. Maybe a brother or childhood sweetheart. I think this was because of them playing tag when she was a child. Does this refer to when a child plays with the incoming tide on the beach?

          I must admit, I'm not sure if her fate should make me happy for her or sad. I'm getting both. 

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          • Thanks Charlie, I love that the mysterious narrator kept you guessing and yes that was the tide she was referencing to. I think so too that there's both sadness and happiness in the end.

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          • Wonderful, evocative prose, that reads like a story but feels like poetry. You have a gift.

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            • Thanks Danny, that means a lot!

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            • I enjoyed the suspense of your story and loved how the words sounded.

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              • Thanks Ellen!

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              • Beautiful piece of work, Laure, really liked it!

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                • Thanks Emma!

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                • Cheater or cougar, I don’t know. Well done!

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                  • Not sure what this means, but thank you!

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                  • Hi Laure, I finally had time to watch your reading. I can't find that post anymore so forgive me for putting this in the wrong place. I just wanted to say how great you were! You picked a perfect place to read, intriguing without giving anything away and early enough in the novel so I didn't feel lost. And wow! Your novel was shortlisted for 2019 First Novel Prize, Novel London Competition, and Flash 500 Novel Opening. That deserves a round of applause!

                     

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                    • Thanks Julie, although it doesn't say about all the other competitions over the years where I didn't get anywhere! I'm so glad you found the extract work, I practised for 2 weeks before the reading so I didn't trip on words.

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                      • It paid off. Your reading was smooth, easy to listen to, and you paused in the all the right places. Loved it! I can't wait to read the novel.

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                      • All I have is 'wow'.. I was completely drawn in. You have a wonderful way with words.

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                        • Thanks  Kelly, that means a lot!

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                        • Laure could you take a look at my short story A Greener World? I would really appreciate your feedback as I respect your opinion. I understand if you don’t have time. Thanks in advance.

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                          • Hi Debbie, I'll try but it might take a few days as I have a deadline to get my edits to my editor and also I have a commissioned critique that I need to return. Also disclaimer but MG is not my area of expertise. But I will definitely try!

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                            • No worries. I have been editing today so it will have changed a little. Don't stress, your own work is more important. I have already had some great feedback which was very helpful. it sounds like you are doing really well, That's so good to hear. Best of luck.

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                            • Engrossed .  Totally engrossed.

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                              • Thank you!

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