Oooooookay. This is the second time I share this sample. The first time I shared it with a filmmaker and she loved the prose. She said: "I'm seeing it in my head. Do whatever it takes to turn this story into a movie." Wow.
Now I want to see the critique from the fellow writers. This sample is the beginning (3000 words) of the short story (less than 10000 words). Genre: literary fiction. The story deals with one of the stereotypes society plasters on women (childless egoist) and with the power of words. Belle is an orphan who is adopted for wrong reasons. Her life drastically changes when she meets Florence - a pianist. The idyllic world of those two characters shatters when Florence's grandma delivers a "good intentions" monologue.
My prime concerns are:
English is not my native language, so correct me if you can! What do you think about the command of language?
Pacing - what do you think?
But I welcome all possible critique. Thank you!
PS: I've adapted this story into an animated short film script. It's in a revision mode atm.