Thank you very much for taking the time to go over this and explain so clearly. That is really helpful and I will have a good look over those pages from Emma Darwin. I was vaguely aware that I should cut out words such as thought, wonder, saw, etc. but I hadn't got as far in my understanding as to apply this to actions too. This is so useful to have this explained.
I do intentionally use free indirect speech but I definitely don't have a full handle on the other levels of PD so I will delve into that too and see if I can wrap my head around it.
As I said to L yesterday I am really looking forward to revising with this in mind so thank you again.