Comment to 'Feedback on a scene'
  • Thank you so much for your feedback. I initially wrote about his wrongdoings with the intention of expanding on his flaws whilst touching on the injustices he faced as well, but I decided against it later on. Yes you’re right, I’ll just take it out and apply Paul’s suggestions as well.

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    • Although the talk of being cleansed from wrongdoings makes sense of your allusion to baptism. Could you perhaps leave it in but say 'any wrongdoings' instead of 'his wrongdoings' or use a less strong word in place of wrongdoings, e.g. failings?

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      • Thank you for your suggestion, Paul. It didn’t even occur to me, that could actually work well.

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