Comment to 'Feedback on a scene'
  • I've come to this rather late(!). Sorry! And I'm left with agreeing with all the terrific feedback you've been given already. I think Amanda's point about showing a bit more rather than telling is the only real (and minor) criticism I'd have too.

    Otherwise, nothing but praise! It's a terrific piece of writing, really emotional, strong and powerful, and as others have said the word-choice and phrasing you've used are really, really good. It's prose written with a poet's ear for language, cadence and rhythm. 

    I loved it! Well done.

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    • Hi Jon,

      Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me. I‘m still working on showing instead of telling, I do struggle quite a bit with it but hopefully it’ll get better with time. Even though I was initially nervous to upload my work for the first time, I’m so glad I finally did! Thank you once again for your kind words.

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