I liked it. Neal has got a point about the 21st century references being 20th century and the indents are a bit too vicious for me. Just looks a bit harsh. I don't think you need more than 0.5cm. I'm not an editor and sometimes I think people look beyond the readability of someone's writing. At the end of the day we're telling a story, not sending a message. Office culture like this is real, maybe not as much as it was, but it is still around and I think you managed to put the reader in that office because it was an uncomfortable experiences for Natalie. Everything can be tweaked, as I'm finding out, but whatever the story it has to be readable, and I think this is.