Hey Lynn! Thanks for submitting your work. I hate to say it, but I'm with Rick n Julie, I stopped reading too. The first paragraph had me hooked, then you went on to mention she'd been dead for years and that just sorta killed it for me. I like Julie's suggestion, cut to the chase right away. But the writing is really good, I think it has great potential. I think for the start, just focus on what you want to tell/show the reader and just do it as that. Don't let this bring you down, I think the story could end up being quite good!