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This is too long, but I'm not sure how to cut it down. All suggestions appreciated:
In a world where emotions are influenced by the colour of the sky, a soldier starts a guerrilla war to protect his family. What must he start to save the empire?
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Yes, Jon, it is very difficult but so important. The few words can inspire new readers. I like you first example so much. Apolcalypse is a powerful word. It drags the eyes and inspires terror. I love it.
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It certainly seems hard now, but we'll get there! Thanks Rick and Jon for hanging in there with me. I've tried to incorporate your excellent feedback:
To save his family, Reece simply started a rebellion. Saving himself, well that will be more complicated!
Not sure whether the ! adds real value?
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This is such interesting feedback Jon
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Comment to What's the elevator pitch for your WIP?
