Comment to 'What's the elevator pitch for your WIP?'
  • Hi Jeannie,

    Yes, I agree with Libby: let's try and trim this down :-)

    How about:

    Family loyalty conflicts with forbidden love in 1960's UK. Can [insert brief reference to the MC] bridge the cultural divide?

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    • I'm not so keen on this version. We don't know why the love is forbidden, so that's too vague. In the story, which problem is the biggest source of conflict, that created by the families on their own or by the wider culture? If it's the culture, the right phrasing might tell us that families behave this way too. 

      I like the phrase 'racial prejudice'. It has a period feel to it (rather than 'racism' which we'd probably use now). That hints at an author who has an ear for the 1960s - a good thing for historical fiction.

      On reflection, I think mentioning 1960s as your setting is important. In relation to racism. It creates an instant image.

      I've got stuck in a groove with my earlier suggestion which may be no good at all. And 'can love find a way' is a big cliche. But by way of explanation here's an update:

      A romance forbidden by racial prejudice - in the 1960s, can love find a way?

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