Comment to 'What's the elevator pitch for your WIP?'
  • My adult fantasy WIP is unfortunately stalled a bit at the moment, and I've set it aside for now. For ewhat it's worth, though, the strict <20 words pitch would be:

    'A mythical machine can recreate the perfect world. The decision whether it should be used lies with a limbless thief.'

    A longer pitch, but one that describes the core of the story better, might be:

    'When a limbless thief finds a machine that can recreate the world in a perfect state, she must decide whether to sacrifice the person she’s fought so hard to be for the chance to regain who she once was.'

    I can't find a way to shorten the latter much more than this (almost twice the suggested length at 39 words), but it does define the theme and the MC's journey far more accurately.

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    • If you haven't already, listen to the writing tutorial "Is your idea good enough?" on the Jericho website. He really dives into Elevator Pitches and puts the max word count at 50 words. Obviously shorter is better, but don't limit yourself unnecessarily. The idea of a limbless thief is a great hook!

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      • I love the premise of this story, Jon. 

        Here's my stab at trying to shorten the pitch - 20 words!!

        A mythical machine can eradicate the world's imperfections. A limbless thief must choose which version of herself gets to exist. 

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        • Thanks emmaloo! There's definitely something there! 🙂 

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