Comment to 'What's the elevator pitch for your WIP?'
  • Pitch for Dislodged

    A vulnerable teenager asks her Independent Visitor if she can move in with her, forcing them both to question whether they have been looking for love in the right places. When your life has been defined by others, how do you know who you really are?

     

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    • Hi Alison, I'm not sure what an 'Independent Visitor' is? If this is a lodger, this would fit well with your title. Maybe start like this: "A vulnerable teenager moves in with ...(instead of asking...) ..

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      • Hi Alison. An elevator pitch is designed to grab the throat. They must be a hook. That is their purpose. I see yours more as a story, and introduction.

        'Love may be knocking. She is vulnerable, but when a stranger wants to move in questions swirl. Who am I? Can I give of myself?' Just a quick attempt. But if I wanted to buy a book in your genre, romance at a guess, I'd want an elevator pitch leading me to read the book description, or go to 'Look inside'. Something that grabs me.

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