Comment to 'Feedback on reworked Chap 1'
  • Hi, Rebecca. I have attached your file with mark-ups. They are my personal opinions so deal with as you wish. You have some good lines in the opening, so that's great. Be miserly with the adverbs ending in 'ly', especially at the end of sentences. I look forward to reading other comments. Remember the 'hook'. Perhaps it arrives with the police, but do try to get it in early. Rob.

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    • Hi  Robert

      Thank you so much!  This is really helpful and I really appreciate you spending the time on this!  Yes you're right I have let those adverbs creep back in!  I do go through and purge them every now and again but when I re-write sections I forget again.  I will have a think about the hook, it arrives a little later on in the next chapter so maybe a re-jig needed.  I will think.  Thank you again!

      All the best 

      Rebecca

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