Comment to 'Feedback on reworked Chap 1'
  • Hello Rebecca. I like this. I like the “ship or silver?” question and her confusion over it. I like the description of her tiny self esteem. I liked the descriptions of place and her feelings there. I liked intrigue of the police turning up, the doubles and her desperation to get to the office. However I did feel a bit like they vied for my attention and weren’t apparently connected. I haven’t got any clever suggestions but found other people’s comments made sense here. I am not a very experienced writer but as a reader I enjoyed the style and was intrigued enough by the story to want to read more. So I reckon that’s a good start. 

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    • Thank you so much Kate – it is really useful to hear what you enjoyed and I am glad that everyone is saying the same thing about there being too much vying for their attention.  I think I will try and strip it back to the core question and try and be ruthless in dumping/shifting the rest.   I really appreciate the time you have taken responding the chapter!  

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