Comment to 'Feedback on reworked Chap 1'
  • Thank you very much Alison for taking the time on this.  I really appreciate it.  

    Your suggestions are really helpful.  I will have a mull over.  I may delay the revelation about Helen disappearing to make it pack more of a punch.  Once the reader is more unsettled about the school maybe.  I like the idea of Eleanor being a replacement for Helen's position.  The rest of the story does complicate that if I did it at a school level but there is maybe a smaller version of this i.e. she is put in her science lab team or something.  And that might be a better way of her finding out that Helen has disappeared and would add a lot more tension in relation to Eleanor.  I also love the idea of the clock having more of a presence too.  It used to have a bit more of a looming description but I cut it so I will review and see if I can ramp that up a bit.

    I am glad you enjoyed the style - that is good to hear.  Thank you again for your ideas!

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