Comment to 'First Chapter Review'
  • hi Blakeney,

    thanks for posting your first chapter. I am a writer of children’s books and haven’t tried to write a novel yet, so my experience may not be very relevant. I am, however, an avid reader of novels. My first impressions only so please ignore it if I am way off beam.

    i like the way you introduce the back story to Kelly’s situation in dialogue. It is always my favourite way of presenting information.

    I like the sense of rush and end of day busyness you have conjured up.

    I don’t get a sense of what type of novel this is from this first chapter. Is it a murder mystery with the maintenance man as chief suspect and red herring or is it a slice-of-life fictional memoir about Kelly’s attempt to regain her independence? Is the ex husband going to wheedle his way back into her life with disasterous consequences? Is Kelly going to finally meet mr Right, or a wonderful new career? It would be great to get a sense of the general idea early on in the chapter.

    You have introduced the characters easily without confusion and you seem to have a clear path to developing them.

    Thanks for sharing this,


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    • Thank you very much for your comments, Kelly. Yes, dialogue is a good way of introducing background, without acres of introductory narrative or prologues.  I don't believe in prologues.

      No, it isn't a murder mystery although there will be a mystery about two-thirds of the way through. You are right about the book's being much more about the struggle for Kelly to regain her independence. I don't want to give too much detail at this stage but there is certainly no "Mr Right" element. 

      I think I do have to point the way a bit more clearly for the reader, without giving too much away and you've helped to make this clear.

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      • My apologies for getting your name wrong, Kerry.  It was probably my character getting in the way!

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