Comment to 'First Chapter Review'
  • Hi Blakeney, 

    Thanks for posting your first chapter. Opening are always tricky and I have to say I completely agree with Kate's feedback. As a reader the telling, passive sentences and filtering throughout the piece kept me at arm's length and I didn't feel immerse in the story.

    I would also suggest using Emma Darwin's Tool-kit, which Kate recommended as it has a wealth of information and writing advice.

    From the extract it sounds like it is a women's fiction about a woman rebuilding her life about a separation/divorce and of self-discovery.

    I hope this helps and good luck with the editing.

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