Comment to 'Taking the Plunge'
  • Hi Rachel, very intriguing ! Just a few very small points: I think you can tighten it a bit eg: lose the repetition of 'which makes her job more difficult' (next sentence starts 'What makes her job hard..." or simply: 'She must now battle...") My impression is that you could be more specific instead of using 'things' - losing 'things' (what sort of things?) and 'see and hear things' (what sort of things?). Also, smashed 'to bits' maybe be a bit too colloquial without adding much?? And a question: when she must save "risk everything to save her patients’ life" is this one patient (in which case the apostrophe is misplaced) or is she saving lots of patients? Just my opinion and these are very small points. Otherwise BRAVO!!!

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    • Great feedback, thank you so much for taking the time to read it.

      All great points, and I will definitely work on them.

      Thanks again!

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