Thanks for the feedback.  You know, I've tried the succinct and I've gotten much of what the first poster wanted.  MORE DETAILS!!!!   :)

I decided to put a little more in because the elevator pitch (Troubled teen fights prejudice and self-loathing to explore a ruined world and his own unique supernatural powers) seemed too... lacking in details.  I could condense it back down again.  I'm not sure.  That's why I'm here!  To work out all the kinks before I commit to sending it to agents.

And I thought writing a 117,000 word story was hard...