Comment to 'Feedback on synopsis of my first finished novel, please.'
  • Hi Yvonne, you have all the ingredients in there and it promises to be an exciting novel, but I wonder if you should clarify things: maybe separating the two characters' stories into separate paragraphs rather than switch from one to the other, then have other paragraphs showing how their lives entwine, then separate out again. For the opening: I think you have such a great hook, smash us on the head with it (ie: cut the preamble about the weather, tourists and the beach) and give us the shark! Great stuff though.

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    • Good points! Thank you for your help, Cassandra. I appreciate you taking the time to read it. 

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