Comment to 'REQUEST FOR CRITIQUE OF SALES COPY (Not a book blurb). Hi everyo...'
  • Hi Janet, I think Sara and Georgina have given you good comments. I was going to say that for those of us with a second language or more it doesn't sound unusual as written but the vocabulary you learn as a child only gets you so far - when you haven't studied it growing up or as an adult. I do find the wording 'has been raised on' rather jarring. How about something like 

    'Revelling in the beauty of Prague, finding friends with whom she can speak (and improve) her mother tongue while being surrounded by the  culture whose literature, art and music are so familiar to her from childhood, Katherine experiences life under a hard-line regime and soon finds herself joining in dangerous anti-government resistance, contrary to all the warnings her parents gave her when she left home.' 

    Not sure you need 'covert; here if you mention 'smuggling' below. Though you could mention her translations alongside the smuggling?

    I hope this gives you something to work with.

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    • Hi Maggie, It does. I didn't like 'raised on' either. '...so familiar to her from childhood' is much more elegant. I like the way you've included her friends as well. Thank you so much.

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      • Hi Maggie, Yes, it certainly does give me something to work with. I didn’t like ‘raised on’ at all either. ‘…familiar to her from childhood’ is very nice. I really appreciate all your support.

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        • Nothing like expressing oneself twice! I could not find the first post; it was hiding somewhere.

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