Comment to 'REQUEST FOR CRITIQUE OF SALES COPY (Not a book blurb). Hi everyo...'
  • Hi Janet - I've been following this, and there are good suggestions.

    The first para could be trimmed (it all can!), eg: After graduating from the famous Juilliard music school in 1988, Katherine Angelis balks at her family’s expectation that she will start a career as a professional musician. She seizes the chance for further study in Prague, the city her family had to escape from after the Communist takeover in 1948.

    In the second para, I'd like to see a mention of the fact that the two guys are activists against the regime (I assume that's the case, as will whoever reads this blurb. If not, make it clear (especially if one is an activist and the other is passive/conservative - imply conflict between them). And maybe name them.

    I'd say "history" rather than "heritage", and definitely allude to Ukraine.

    0 0 0 0 0 0
    • Hi Glyn, thanks for your suggestions, useful as always – especially about the two men. I want to keep ‘heritage’, because that’s a very important part of the story. As to Ukraine, I’m sickened by Western leaders patting themselves on the back while the Ukrainian people try to resist a superior Russian military alone, and I don’t want to make use of what is going to be another terrible human tragedy. This is a personal choice which not everyone would agree with. What I have written into the text following mention of the triangle is this: 

      And Katherine cannot resist the opportunity offered by her new Czech friends to join in risky covert resistance against a hard-line regime in place since the ‘brotherly assistance’ of the Warsaw Pact invasion.

      I think most people will make the connections with both the aggressor and the pretense. There’s a lot of reference to Czechoslovakia ’68 and Hungary ’56 in current news reports.

       

      0 0 0 0 0 0