Comment to 'Alan Whittaker A Short Story ESCAPE FROM DAESH This piece is aro...'
  • Hi. The story is certainly dramatic and sounds almost as if it is drawn from some very challenging personal experiences - emphasised by the flashbacks. It needs further work - especially in regard to punctuation.

    I found the Calais reference a bit confusing:   

    ‘I don’t know,’ Tarek, whispered, ‘maybe we are at the port ready to cross to England but I’m terrified as well. The doors might open, and we could be found and sent back to that filthy camp in Calais.’ 

    I understood that the lorry had been travelling for a long time and from much further afield than the French coast. (Your introduction states: His journey to the UK is based around him stowing away in the back of a truck, with the hope of arriving in England to a new life.)

    Anyway: good luck with it.


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