Comment to 'I wonder if some of you lovely folks would cast an eye over my 2...'
  • Hi Kate,

    Thankyou for sharing your story with us.

    I think the story is taking an interesting turn. I am intrigued and ready for more. I also think the narrator sounds older and was wondering about their age and maybe other things we could know about them.

     


    Also there was one sentence that didnt flow as well as the others because of the word "to"



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