Hi Alex. Thanks for sharing with us, but I'm sorry to say it didn't work for me. I found myself skimming through to find something happening, which, unfortunately wasn't until page 3. The large chunk of backstory beforehand failed to engage me. The trick with short stories is to enter late and leave early, so I would advise to work out what the core of the story is, or the main part of action, and begin with that. I hope this helps. Sorry to dissapoint.