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Sharing my short story from today. There was a post a few days ago about writing humor. I haven't been writing much lately but my experience in the paint store this afternoon inspired me to put a few words to paper. Wanted to share how humor sometimes finds you when you least expect it to.


Twenty Minutes at the Paint Store    by Connie Estes Beale

“I don’t think that’s a color.” The sales woman shakes her head at the receiver in her hand.

“What color’s he want?” A salesman peers over her shoulder at the chart in her hand. She puts her hand over the phone and whispers, “Westin, Westin Cedar.”

“Stain or paint?”

“Is that a stain or a paint?” she asks the caller. “Stain”, she mouths to her associate. He shakes his head and goes back to the guy sitting on a stool at the other end of the counter. 

“You were sayin’, Gus?”

“They look good but don’t reproduce well.”

I look over, perhaps raise an eyebrow.

“Show goats,” Gus explains. “Show goats just aren’t good breeders.”

“That so?” the salesman asks.

Gus nods, turns my direction to possibly check for interest in his subject. I look down at my phone.

“Did you see that color at the resort?” the saleswoman asks the phone. “No? But it’s a stain?”

“If they’re pretty, they just don’t produce much offspring,” Gus offers. “They look good but not worth the money if you’re trying to build a herd.”

“A stain. Okay. Transparent or solid? I still don’t see that color.”

“I went up to a breeder near Chicago for some goat sperm. They wouldn’t guarantee it.” 

“Western?” I offer.

The salesclerk’s eyes light up as understanding dawns. “Western, Western Cedar? Like out west, not like the hotel?”

“Western!” her associate says.

“You misunderstood? No problem. I found it on the chart.”

“You just can’t have pretty and productive. It’s one or the other.”

I begin to giggle.

“Here’s your paint,” another saleslady says as she puts my gallon on the counter.

“Brushes, rollers?” 

“No, I’m good.”

“Sorry for the wait.”

“Worth every penny,” I say with a smile.

Comments
    • Loved it!  Just the right length, too.  Well done, Connie Beale!

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      • Thanks. I was cracking up.

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      • Reminds me of the time when I was in the dentist trying to book an appointment. The receptionist was on the phone for twenty minutes, while I waited patiently, thinking her call must be important. Eventually she came off the phone and turned to me.
        “Sorry,” she said, “but she is very famous.”

        Ho hum!

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        • When I had my interior design business, we had a show biz couple. Both were recognizable names in their own right but the wife always identified herself as 'her name, Mrs. his name'. Using their real names, of course. We always thought it funny.

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        • Wonderful, well done. Thank you for writing and sharing

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          • Thank you. Life is a series of short stories, wouldn't you say?


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            • That's a nice way of looking at it. An inviting alternative to one long novel...

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