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Sharing screenplays for feedback

Hi all!

I don't know where to post this, but there we go.

If someone is writing screenplays, I'd be happy to give a feedback and to share my (short) screenplay, too. 

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Replies (24)
    • Hi Victoria. 

      There's Scribelounge which is a community group for screenwriters. Got some excellent feedback and support from it. Recently I wrote one screenplay about Alcock and Brown (have a couple of productions companies interested in it. Just waiting for responses). Currently writing one about Grace Darling.  Be happy to read your screenplay.

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      • Hi James, thank you so much for the recommendation! I'd be happy to share and also to read your screenplay. Should I attach mine here or...?  

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        • I would definitely watch something on Alcock and Brown... In the USA they have no idea how far Europe was ahead of them in flying. I hope you get it produced.

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          • Thanks. Everyone who has read it has said it would make a great film. Currently I've got two companies showing interest. So fingers crossed! Currently in the process of writing a script about the life of Grace Darling.

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          • Post yours on here.

            https://www.writerduet.com/script/#-MPEtSpWfp6JnwPUiJbs*A*-shard-16*Z*+ZPP_WE-2WoPBF6W9OueO8ajmptQ

            hopefully the link to mine should work. If not I'll send a PDF. 

            When I've finished I'll try and send you the Grace Darling script. Still got some way to go. 

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            • Done. 

              I see "To Be The First." That's the one, right?  

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            • yes that's the one. 😄 

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              • Hi James, I read the script (and left some remarks). I have to say WOW - it felt like I was watching the actual movie! Love the bitter-sweet ending. 

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                • Hi Victoria. Thanks for your positive and enlightening comments. Currently there are a couple of companies that are showing interest. I'm in the process of writing a script about the life of Grace Darling.

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                  • Fingers crossed for both projects! 

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                  • I have written a few screenplays, and made eight of them into short films. I have to say that the writing is better than the film-making. Anyway, I'd be happy to look at your screenplay, Victoria. You can attach it to a direct message to me. Or, to reach more people here, you can attach it to a post in this forum.

                    If you want to see any of the films, you can find them on my website www.storiesintolight.co.uk . They are around 5-10 minutes long.

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                    • Hi Glyn! Thank you for sharing your experience - I'm writing short film screenplays, too. Of course, I want to see one of them made, but atm I don't have a plan for that. 

                      I'm attaching the screenplay (8 pages) I worked on during Sundance Collab course and it's a revised version after I had a feedback session with an advisor.

                      Thank you for reading! I'm going to watch your films, since I want to watch as much short films as possible - and learn! 

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                    • Hi Victoria, have read your script, It's good, like how you've used various tones of speech regarding the newsreaders ranging from bored to over the top. "Woman's unbraceleted hand" should read "Vera's unbraceleted hand" or how about telling us which hand does Vera wear the bracelet?  Maybe too much emphasis on the bracelets.  

                      Is the "Several  Days Later" supposed to appear on the screen, acting as a bridge between the two scenes? How does Vera stop her mother's monologue? Does she turn off the voice messaging app? Instead of cutting to various scenes perhaps we can follow Vera around her apartment (in other words a continuous shot?), in which we follow Vera from her kitchen to the living room without cutting to another scene? Most pro's don't like seeing "Cut To/Cut back" so if I were you I would remove them, but then again some don't mind them. 

                      Do you have a scriptwriting software (i.e Finaldraft (the industry standard), Celtx,  Writerduet, Trelby etc)? 

                      Overall its very good. its got potential to go further. Hopefully you will. It's got a Netflix feel about it. Can see it working as a series with episodes. Failing that, if it is to be limited in location then maybe as a theatre production.  

                      At the end of the day scriptwriting is like any other form of writing. Ask a hundred people for advice and you'll no doubt get a hundred different answers. 

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                      • Hi James, thank you for reading! I re-wrote a lot of this script, and of course it's not perfect still ))

                        But, I like the story and I think it's a great material for a short - one location, one character. And as one of the readers pointed out, it's potentially very interesting for an actress to interpret. 

                        It requires more work though.

                        PS: yes, I'm using Finaldraft. 

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                      • Hi Victoria. I would be only too pleased to read your script. Last year I made a rather hurried attempt at adapting my trilogy into a screenplay (The Silent Russian). I reached the quarter-finals and received some encouraging feedback and advice on adapting the film screenplay to a TV series. I'm currently preparing a TV pilot. I already have some tentative interest from a transnational group. 

                        p.s. for James Forinton for pointing out Scribelounge

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                        • Often, it is an issue of male (father) pressure, or maybe parents, that the daughter should find the "right" person. I cannot accept that. The so-called popular interpretation of love, fascination, whatever somehow interprets as love, in the traditional sense,  does not make sense to me. 

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                          • Meaning that I need depth. Sometimes, I feel that the fascination with Kindle/Amazon is somehow  making a nonsense of quality writing

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                            • I wholeheartedly agree with that. I think my writing reflects this (the “so-called popular interpretation of love” doesn’t make sense to me either). 

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                            • Very  first draft The Silent Russian screenplay

                              My primary writing project, a trilogy, has evolved over many years. From the outset, the theme has been deception linked to the morality of the privileged and entitled class in British politics. I am adapting the story to a screenplay for a TV Pilot. This is the very first draft. Following discussions with a person in the TV industry, the ultimate aim (wish!!) would be three series and six episodes.

                              Re-reading the script many times, I have a feeling that I may have introduced too much up-front and the pace may be too fast. 

                              The idea for the story originated as a result of a January 1990 meeting, two months after the breaching of the Berlin Wall, in a Moscow apartment at which the future of the Soviet Union and, more specifically, Motherland Russia.  Communist Party officials, the KGB and emerging entrepreneurs (future oligarchs) attended the meeting. The main thrust of the meeting was to discuss the strategy to mitigate the inevitable humiliation of the Soviet Union being losers of the Cold War and how to restore the Motherland to its rightful place on the world stage. My story is fiction and not in any way faction. Some work I did in the former Soviet Union in 2004 inspired me to include the idea that the KGB strategy would also involve the UK leaving the European Union. 

                              So how does the theme of deception fit into the story? 

                              The overall premise is that the collapse of the Soviet Union and "losing" the Cold War had been part of a long term KGB three-pronged “Triple-Edge” strategy of deception and to instigate socio-economic disruption in Europe, notably the United Kingdom.  

                              Deception is evident within and between the former KGB, MI6, Politicians (British, French, Italian and Russian), Italian and Russian Mafias, right-wing groups and the City of London as part of their interactions with the privileged and entitled class in British politics. 


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                              • Hi Roger, 

                                I'm starting to read your screenplay today. I was traveling to Paris - first proper voyage since pandemic! - so I'm a bit late with my reading. 

                                The premise sounds very intriguing! 

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                                • Just seen your message. I've also been travelling (Tuscany and Umbria).

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