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Dystopian Sci-Fi Blurb

Hi all! I would really appreciate your thoughts on this blurb (back of paperback and Amazon description). The book is called Selfsame and the subtitle is: When fascism, extinction, and genetics collide, the world goes backward and forward at once. THANK YOU!

THE SELFSAME SERIES: BOOK ONE

Men dying off.

Women genetically altered to survive.

How long can fascism reign as the threats to Lower Earth multiply? 

Four hundred years since the Final War, genetics are Lower Earth’s lifeline. The number of men continues to decrease as the Mist, fallout from the biological weapon used in the war, continues to attack the Y-chromosome. Modifying DNA to survive drought, disease, and climate change, the women of Lower Earth grow stronger - at a cost. Few know the truth of their origins.

Ariane was created to lead the new order out of suffering.  Her genetic code goes further than any other. Based on the code of former Queens, her superior brain function allows her to interpret the blood, breath, and heartbeat of all who cross her path. She has been preparing her entire life for the moment she would be declared Queen.

But she’s not the only one.

 

With sweeping momentum and a society ever on the edge of extinction, Selfsame dives into the world where men are fewer than ten percent of the population, scientific research is the driver of progress, and oppression of the masses is the foundation for survival. 

 

ELYSIA NISAN is a Canadian writer, teacher, singer, and child rights advocate having received her M.A. in International Relations from Keele University in England. She has been recognised as a global expert on safeguarding, ensuring that humanitarian workers who harm, abuse, or exploit children or vulnerable adults are held to account.

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Replies (7)
  • It sounds good. I came up with a book called Final Solution, where humanity has become female, due to test tube babies, but a male is born, and is doomed to die, but he gets the population to admit that they are one hive mind, and survives. They all have sex with him. I thought of it in my adolescence when I was angry at my mum. What do you think.

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    • I think we have VERY different approaches to the topic. Certainly, that's not the world I imagine ;)

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      • Hi Elysia,  

        It sounds interesting and intriguing but it's only backstory and premise apart from the last line. I don't really get a sense of the actual story from that blurb. Your three bolded sentences set up your world  and premise so I would personally lose the first paragraph and rerwrite weaving in Ariane's story to get a sense of what kind of story this is. 

        I think a great example is the blurb for The Handmaid's Tale:

        Offred is a Handmaid in The Republic of Gilead, a religious totalitarian state in what was formerly known as the United States. She is placed in the household of The Commander, Fred Waterford her assigned name, Offred, means of Fred . She has only one function: to breed. If Offred refuses to enter into sexual servitude to repopulate a devastated world, she will be hanged. Yet even a repressive state cannot eradicate hope and desire. As she recalls her pre-revolution life in flashbacks, Offred must navigate through the terrifying landscape of torture and persecution in the present day, and between two men upon which her future hangs.

        This blurb revolved around the main character in the world of the book. Offred is the first word of that blurb whereas in yours Ariane — who I imagine is your main character — is not mentioned until the 2nd paragraph. 

        I hope this helps and feel free to see and ignore as you see fit.

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        • Hi there and thank you - this is really valuable advice. I can see exactly why you make that comment and I'm going to re-write to build the world around the character. I've read other similar advice, especially for SFF where world building can get in the way of character story, so this is really valid feedback. Thank you for taking the time, it will definitely help me have a better result!

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        • I read The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood in high school for a set book, along with All Quiet on the Western Front, but I didn’t finish them, I was too busy reading David Gemmell.

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          • Another story I came up with, was Final Garden, where a Skynet type AI, is blinking people into killing systematically, and they can’t remember anything about it. It attempts to unify the world population into a final state solution, where only very few people inhabit a garden world. The female protagonists is on the chase, and arrives at the location of the computer’s mainframe, only to find out she was one of the “sleepers,” and is to incarnate the AI’s brain and personality.

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          • Hi, Elysia, I was just browsing the site after posting on another forum and stumbled onto this. I'm interested because, as a young man, I used to read nothing but science fiction and I often ask myself why I don't nowadays. Anyway, to my point. The blurb does look intriguing but I agree entirely with L's comments. If you get it right, you never know, I may be tempted back into the genre as a reader. I'd just add one pedantic comment. When I read this, it wasn't clear to me whether Selfsame was a man (or even a person) as opposed to someone who was alien to this world. 

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