Children's Books & YA Authors

  • 3733
Info
Group Name:
Children's Books & YA Authors
Category:

A group to connect YA and children's book authors. 

Hi Max

Congratulations on completing your novel, as others have said, this in itself is a major achievement.

Agree with others, a lot of back story and not much happens until the uncle gets his snuff box out.

I am intrigued to know where the uncle has gone, but it took a while to get to this point.

My manuscripts first chapter had exactly the same issues. Too much background, head hopping, telling not showing, not enough action. But it is all fixable.

Is your main character, (Connie 10 years of age) too young for your target audience of 10-13+. ? Would  a 13+ Want to read about  a 10 year old?

Time to start editing, good luck with your manuscript.

Rick

 Hi Max Detheridge-Smith  

You are so lucky to have finished your novel!

I like Connie too - she is brave and spunky. The first part especially gripped me. What she doesn't like/ believe in. That moves fast.

But then I felt the pace starts slowing down. There are a few instances of show don't tell (restrictive clothing at school could be boys tugging at their collars or girls pulling their clothes looser) and perhaps a tad more background/ description that actual movement/ dialogue. 

I used to read a lot of fantasy (btw - is this YA?) but I read less now so maybe the pace is different but I wanted more of Connie and less context, if that helps.

Great work again in finishing the book!







Hi Max, welcome to Townhouse! Congratulations on finishing your novel. It's a huge accomplishment and one you should be proud of.

I've read your chapters and I liked Connie. You've given her a lot of depth and she's a wonderful main character. However, these chapters read very much like a first draft. You are mostly telling /reporting what is happening or giving us a lot of information about what has happened in Connie's past. This step is vital in a first draft because it helps you get the story clear in your mind and down on the page. 

Now it's time to start editing. Connie is your MC so you need to stay with her point of view. This will help draw the reader into her story. You can learn more about head-hopping and show not tell on Emma Darwin's excellent blog. Check out her tool kit. https://emmadarwin.typepad.com/thisitchofwriting/resources.html

I also recommend getting the app Grammarly. It's free and will help with punctuation and grammar. 

I hope this helps. Good luck!

Thanks for the information, yes, it's far from finished, still in at the starting blocks. I have a friend who is at present helping me edit and move on to the next version of the story. As you know, it's a long road. However, I'm looking forward to the journey. 

Hi Max,


Congrats on finishing the first draft of your novel. I liked Connie, especially her being tall with curly blonde hair. As a tall child I felt so different. I would’ve loved to see a tall heroine in a story.

I think showing not telling would help and watch for dumping information and too much description. (Example  the description of the school uniform.) 

Best,

Marysa

Hi Max, welcome to Townhouse! Congratulations on finishing your novel. It's a huge accomplishment and one you should be proud of.

I've read your chapters and I liked Connie. You've given her a lot of depth and she's a wonderful main character. However, these chapters read very much like a first draft. You are mostly telling /reporting what is happening or giving us a lot of information about what has happened in Connie's past. This step is vital in a first draft because it helps you get the story clear in your mind and down on the page. 

Now it's time to start editing. Connie is your MC so you need to stay with her point of view. This will help draw the reader into her story. You can learn more about head-hopping and show not tell on Emma Darwin's excellent blog. Check out her tool kit. https://emmadarwin.typepad.com/thisitchofwriting/resources.html

I also recommend getting the app Grammarly. It's free and will help with punctuation and grammar. 

I hope this helps. Good luck!

Added a forum  to  , Children's Books & YA Authors

Hello all. I'd appreciate feedback on the the first two chapters of my fantasy novel first draft, for 10 to 13+. Not sure if I'm engaging with the audience, or drawing the reader in at the correct point of the story. I want it to be fun and intriguing, and for the main character to be liked from the outset. If you've got a few minutes the read and comment I'd be very grateful. Thanks in advance for your help. 

Added a post  to  , Children's Books & YA Authors

Just finished the children’s writing course, brilliant!

Added a post  to  , Children's Books & YA Authors

Calling all children's authors! The Bright Agency is open for submissions but hurry up. Deadline expires in 3 days.

https://thebrightagency.com/uk/blog/calling-all-children-s-authors 

Added a post  to  , Children's Books & YA Authors

Attention all CHILDREN'S Writers:  Penguin Books has opened a very good competion. Check the WRITE NOW competion. 

Added a post  to  , Children's Books & YA Authors
Good morning! Struggling here.....how do I see comments added to posts? Would be good to know how to comment, too 😳
Added a post  to  , Children's Books & YA Authors

Just a technical question... I'm not getting notifications from this group - have I got my settings wrong?