Welcome to our new member, Curiously Enticing. It's a bit quiet on the forum at the moment so here is a bit of doggerel to keep us going.
The sad and unfeasible tale of Kevin the travelling gnome.
Whilst digging one day in the garden I chanced to encounter a gnome.
It was drab and dejected and battered and in need of the comforts of home.
I filled up a basin to dunk it
and wash it, with Fairy of course,
then I fed it on fresh fruit and junket
as it started a mournful discourse.
“I was gnome-napped.” It said. “As a young gnome.” Tears touched its painted blue eyes.
“And I travelled the world in a suitcase across wide seas and strange foreign skies.
Wherever I landed my picture
would be captured in bright Kodakchrome
and, with never a comment or stricture,
would be sent to my far away home.”
“I drew followers on Social Media with an internet page of my own
And my captors grew every day greedier as they monetised ‘Kevin the Gnome’.
The revenue growth was astounding,
from calendars, posters and books,
with Hollywood offers abounding
on account of my Gnomic good looks.”
“Ah, but fame, as friends go, is capricious. It may drip honeyed words in your ear
yet say other things, callous and vicious, when it thinks you unable to hear.
My image was used and co opted,
it was turned to political gain
plugging causes I’d never adopted
from the side of a bus or a train.”
“As such causes were shown to be toxic, their proponents withdrawn and recused,
the establishment made me anoxic and stifled my voice with fake news.
I was pilloried now, in the papers,
to ridicule ‘Kevin the Gnome’
and accuse him of scandalous capers
became quite the national syndrome.”
“My captors were thrown into panic at the thought of my imminent fall,
their behaviour erratic and manic, they disposed of me over your wall.
I was dazed and disorientated,
having bounced off the side of the shed.
My lovely red hat was truncated
And the dog did a pooh on my head.”
As I dig every day in the garden I look over at Kevin the Gnome.
He’s repaired and repainted and pardoned and the pond at the back is his home.
Home is always the place to come back to,
be it never so humble or poor.
He can fish here as long as he wants to
and Kevin need travel no more.