Perfect your pitch

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Perfect your pitch
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Share your elevator pitches, give and receive feedback from your fellow community members and, when possible, the Jericho Writers team. 

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Hi,

I am part way through writing the second book in a series of children's story books in verse entitled Mickey the Scouse seagull. Whilst I have previously had my poetry published I am a complete new comer to the genre of writing for children.

I am currently looking for an agent or publisher to take my work forward but am still in the early stages of this process.

I have made a first attempt at an elevator pitch and would appreciate any feedback you could give me.


thanks in advance.


Mickey’s elevator pitch

A charming series of stories in verse with a distinctly Scouse accent, suitable for all children aged between 7 and 97.

Along the banks of the river Mersey in the great city of Liverpool lies the bustling port of Seaforth. A busy gateway to the rest of the big wide world way way over the horizon beyond the Mersey on far far away tides.

It’s also home to a unique feathered family of seagulls known as “the Seaforth flock” and one very special gull in particular Mickey the Scouse seagull. 

Introducing Mickey….

Our little friend Mickey was no more than an egg the day he arrived at the Seaforth dock. From the moment he hatched, amongst the empty container stacks he freely did roam, long before he ever learned to fly and make the skies over Liverpool his home. 

He is a graduate of the school of tough breaks and hard knocks but bears no trace of this as about his daily adventures he goes.

If you visit Liverpool and a seagull you should meet, be it on Bootle Strand or any other street; remember to say hello as Mickey it could be; oh and don’t forget to remember to offer him some cheese.


Copyright Peter Hill 2022 (All Rights Reserved).

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Hi, this is my first post to Jericho and I’m a little nervous. My manuscript is with my editor and she’s set me working on things like my elevator pitch and I’m struggling with it.

 

My book is a memoire of my life in the 90’s, to jump in and out myself to you all… As I came out I was groomed and abused. I didn’t sit down with the intention of writing this, but I have it now, as well as countless hours of therapy under my belt and an increasingly large police case moving forward.

The pitch however I’m finding even harder than the synopsis. I’m not know for speaking in short or concise sentences, add in that I struggle with feeling like I’m being dramatic I am finding it difficult to say the least.

This is what I have so far.

The summer of 1996 brought a welcome change to Richard’s life. At the age of 14 he enters a world where he can be free and be himself for the first time. Within the year he will be a completely different person. 

Be careful who you trust, be more careful who you love.

 

I welcome all feedback, or suggestions. I feel I’m missing a hook but don’t know what is too much to put in this.

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I would appreciate some feedback on my elevator pitch, please.

My book, Jasmine Vs The Multiverse, is a middlegrade (age 10+) speculative fiction with a quantum physics theme.

For the pitch I decided to focus on the underlying message in the story (the need for the main character Jasmine to follow her heart) however I'm not convinced it is anywhere near as compelling as it needs to be. Should I perhaps focus the pitch more on the situation in which she finds herself in the story? (Which is that she finds herself transported to a strange world where she is accused of a terrible crime)?

Many thanks in advance....

"Jasmine, an ordinary schoolgirl, faces a stark choice: whether to accept the practical path laid down for her by her parents or to learn to assert herself and follow her heart."

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Trying to perfect this pitch for my MS entitled “All The Noise We Conceal”:

 - Torn between faith and love, a young sheltered business woman drops everything to pursue a career in filmmaking to another country.

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Taking five from my MS and half way through both that and Harry's video course on writing (scintillating brilliance, Harry) I decided to take the challenge and draft a pitch or three. Opinions welcome:

  1. A boy’s death in a terrorist atrocity leads to a criminal father and a step-grandfather, a fired MI5 officer, separately hunting down the men in the shadows whose plan is to plummet Europe into war.
  2. Scapegoated into retirement from MI5, Jake Turner hunts down the men behind a series of atrocities in which his grandson is killed. The hunt turns into a race – the plotters seek to start a war across parts of Europe and the Middle East. 
  3. A thriller in which a man’s hunt for his grandson’s killers in a series of terrorist atrocities turns into a race to stop Europe being dragged into a war in the Middle East.
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Been a while since I've been on townhouse (blame the kids and summer and being unable to say no to freelance work) but I'm coming round to that whole pitch thing again for my 1st novel 'Lifesong'. I'm sure fantasy pitches are the worst! SO much underneath what I'm trying to say, so many angles I could come at it from... Any thoughts?

Roe’s token is sacred: one-of-a-kind. It protects her mind from slavery and she hopes it will reveal her lifesong. Then she discovers it’s actually one-of-three…

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Hello all. I’ve been lurking on Townhouse for a while but this is my first post, so…hello! Having recently finished the first draft of my novel I’m taking a short break to do some writing-adjacent things (research, entering competitions, etc.), which includes working on an elevator pitch. I’ve written a few versions but am having difficulty pinning it down, so it would be great to get some feedback from you fine people.

Version 1: After a profound loss, a young woman embarks on a quest for revenge.

Version 2: A woman returns from the dead to right a terrible wrong.

Which of these makes you want to know more about the story? (‘Neither of them’ is a valid answer!)

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Finally I've got round to thinking about a pitch. 

Any amazing advice you've found (blogs, courses, books, etc.) that you can point me towards to help out?

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I have struggled so much over this (angst, self flagellation and gin - OK I lied about the self flagellation). My baby is one of those Fantasy 'Ologies' (adult reader focused) and as such I have struggled to get something with multiple POVs (and I know I shouldn't, but can't not) into an Elevator Pitch - but after much stressing the best I can come up with now is

'She must murder her mother to start a war ... and sacrifice her daughter to end it'.

Would value feedback as to whether this would make you want to know more. Thanks loads :)

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Hiya! I just joined in an attempt to be more active on Jericho as well as get prepared for pitching events. Is anyone doing on the 6th of May? I'm a romance writer so I thought trying this more tailored event would be fun!

Would love any feedback on this pitch:

SLOW BURN 50 SHADES x BLACKKKLANSMAN

Dance, books & fast cars bring Nadia & Luca together but they can’t hide from the scars of their ex-lovers or the racist cult looming in the shadows waiting to ruin the love blossoming between them.

#A  

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Hi, I'm new here. Apologies if this has been asked before.

Does it make any sense to include a (tentative) cover for your book when submitting it to potential agents/publishers? Or even when submitting it for manuscript assessment?

I have often, as a break or distraction from writing, daydreamed about the cover. I had a few ideas which I remained fond of as the book neared completion. I also saw Harry Bingham's brief video about what the cover is supposed to do, which helped. I have the luxury of knowing an illustrator who could help me put a cover together, even at the manuscript stage. Would this be a bonus, maybe helping to catch an agent's eye? Or would it seem pretentious and damage my chances? My uninformed reasoning is that it might help now, and could even be used later if I opt for self-publishing.

Thanks.

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Anyone doing