Perfect your pitch

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Perfect your pitch
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Share your elevator pitches, give and receive feedback from your fellow community members and, when possible, the Jericho Writers team. 

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Been a while since I've been on townhouse (blame the kids and summer and being unable to say no to freelance work) but I'm coming round to that whole pitch thing again for my 1st novel 'Lifesong'. I'm sure fantasy pitches are the worst! SO much underneath what I'm trying to say, so many angles I could come at it from... Any thoughts?

Roe’s token is sacred: one-of-a-kind. It protects her mind from slavery and she hopes it will reveal her lifesong. Then she discovers it’s actually one-of-three…

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Hello all. I’ve been lurking on Townhouse for a while but this is my first post, so…hello! Having recently finished the first draft of my novel I’m taking a short break to do some writing-adjacent things (research, entering competitions, etc.), which includes working on an elevator pitch. I’ve written a few versions but am having difficulty pinning it down, so it would be great to get some feedback from you fine people.

Version 1: After a profound loss, a young woman embarks on a quest for revenge.

Version 2: A woman returns from the dead to right a terrible wrong.

Which of these makes you want to know more about the story? (‘Neither of them’ is a valid answer!)

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Finally I've got round to thinking about a pitch. 

Any amazing advice you've found (blogs, courses, books, etc.) that you can point me towards to help out?

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I have struggled so much over this (angst, self flagellation and gin - OK I lied about the self flagellation). My baby is one of those Fantasy 'Ologies' (adult reader focused) and as such I have struggled to get something with multiple POVs (and I know I shouldn't, but can't not) into an Elevator Pitch - but after much stressing the best I can come up with now is

'She must murder her mother to start a war ... and sacrifice her daughter to end it'.

Would value feedback as to whether this would make you want to know more. Thanks loads :)

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Hiya! I just joined in an attempt to be more active on Jericho as well as get prepared for pitching events. Is anyone doing on the 6th of May? I'm a romance writer so I thought trying this more tailored event would be fun!

Would love any feedback on this pitch:

SLOW BURN 50 SHADES x BLACKKKLANSMAN

Dance, books & fast cars bring Nadia & Luca together but they can’t hide from the scars of their ex-lovers or the racist cult looming in the shadows waiting to ruin the love blossoming between them.

#A  

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Hi, I'm new here. Apologies if this has been asked before.

Does it make any sense to include a (tentative) cover for your book when submitting it to potential agents/publishers? Or even when submitting it for manuscript assessment?

I have often, as a break or distraction from writing, daydreamed about the cover. I had a few ideas which I remained fond of as the book neared completion. I also saw Harry Bingham's brief video about what the cover is supposed to do, which helped. I have the luxury of knowing an illustrator who could help me put a cover together, even at the manuscript stage. Would this be a bonus, maybe helping to catch an agent's eye? Or would it seem pretentious and damage my chances? My uninformed reasoning is that it might help now, and could even be used later if I opt for self-publishing.

Thanks.

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Anyone doing

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I need a pitch for the Page Turner Awards. Below: a mini synopsis and two stabs at a pitch. I'd love some help!

The orphan chicken SEED wants a family. When the older hens dismiss her plan to hatch eggs, Seed abandons her friend GUMBALL and runs away to the barn. She meets LION but refuses his help too. As the lowest hen in the pecking order, she’s determined to prove she’s tougher than she seems.

When a fox enters the barn, she draws him outside but returns to find someone has stolen her eggs. Seed begs Gumball’s forgiveness and together they learn the children have taken her eggs to somewhere called Incubator. They follow the kids to the creek, but Lion falls into the water. 

Seed saves him and realizes that although she’s lost her chicks, she has a family in her friends. Then the kids arrive with Seed’s chicks. She asks everyone to help name them because now she knows—asking for help doesn’t mean she’s wimpy, just a part of a family.

***

Determined to prove she’s more than the last hen in the pecking order, an orphan chicken abandons her best friend and runs away to start a family of her own. But when her eggs are stolen, she must come to terms with the true meaning of family and find her eggs before it’s too late.

Maggoty mealworms, someone’s stolen Seed’s eggs!

Desperate for a family of her own, an orphan chicken abandons her best friend and runs away to hatch eggs. Then her eggs go missing and she has no one. On a quest to find her eggs and win back her friend, she must first come to terms with the true meaning of family.

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What a great idea for a group! I am on twitter but nowhere near finishing that first draft so let alone a decent pitch:) I'll try to find you for retweets though. Good luck all 

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Remember to pin your tweets that way your own wont be hidden in your retweets

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GOOD LUCK TO TEAM JW. 

Remember if you receive no likes it's just because people do this in their thousands. 

It's NOT because your pitch wasn't good or that your premise is rubbish. It's just that it got lost and wasn't seen.

People create huge lists to retweet. 

Have fun and enjoy the day. 

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Last minute thoughts. Which of the following three do you think is the best? The first two are basically what we arrived at from everyone's great help on Sunday (particularly Caron's). The third is just a bit different, starting with the question I originally posed in my first attempt on Sunday but hopefully with something better to follow. I think the third one communicates better the essence of my story, but is it better than the other two in style? Or would you go for something that's a cross between these?

In a dystopian Britain, being male or female means you aren't safe. Joe finds sanctuary with others on a remote island. But with the authorities hunting them down, Joe, Nats and Cain must get to France to seek help.

In a dystopian Britain, being male or female makes you an anomaly. Joe finds sanctuary with others on a remote island. But with the authorities hunting them down, Joe, Nats and Cain must get to France to seek help.

What if being a boy or a girl was something you had to hide? Joe’s now found sanctuary on a remote island, with others like him. But if he’s going to be one of the last to make it there safely, Joe, Nats and Cain must get to France to seek help.