Sibo

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Hi, I'm Sibo Makuza. I'm 17 years old (I know I'm young lol) and live in Zimbabwe. I wrote a YA sci-fi novel last year, and started submitting to agents. I got positive feedback, but nothing more than that. I knew then that my novel needed work. During my hunt for agents, I stumbled upon Jericho Writers, but couldn't afford to be a member. Till December 2019, there was an opportunity to apply for a free membership. I applied, I won it, I took it. 

I'm a fully fledged nerd that loves reading writing and sci-fi movies. If you've never heard of the Avengers, don't bother messaging me, haha (I'm joking). I'm currently editing my novel, and I'm thankful and lucky to be here.

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Sibo Discussions
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This is literally my fourth time posting here, but I'm proud of it, because I've grown each time. I'…
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  •  · Hi Sibo, I've just read your posting and I agree with most of the comments the others have made abou…
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TCK publishing has just announced a new poetry competition. I know some of you are interested in poe…
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  •  · Sibo,Thankyou for that. I am really sorry you are having to deal with some tough things right now. W…
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Hey, how are you? I asked this question about rewriting on Connie's forum, but since she left Townho…
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  •  · I get you! Thank you for responding Sarita. Stay blessed! 😊
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Does anyone else just come onto Townhouse, go through a bunch of forums, and think alright that's my…
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  •  · HI SiboMost people on here (if they are anything like me) jump on and off when they are ether: 1. su…
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This is my third time posting here (wow). You'd think it'd be less nerve-racking, haha.My name is Si…
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  •  · Fascinating, but what on earth does it mean?  You mean it isn't on Earth?
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If a book starts with a page of atmosphere, and world-building, I'm bored. I won't continue, and I w…
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  •  ·  I think it depends on the genre you are writing in. I read all manner of books. If it is a beautifu…

It's tricky with young people because a lot of of young people are cultured by their parents that swearing is wrong, even if they do it. So with that in mindset, I don't think those that swear do it more than adults, and not doing it in a novel, or only in a appropriate situations is best. 

Welcome Eli!!! Hope you feel at home😊

Hey Julie, thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it!!! 

I understand why the "had been told she had a gaze..." confused you, and I'll cut that line out because I don't think I can explain it from her POV.

Spark grew more confident during her time on the spaceship, but the shy sensitive is girl is still in there. Spark is only self-assured in her abilities, not in herself. This is why throughout this chapter she is "confident" because, really, there's nothing to fear. As she said, Franklin could bring the whole military and she could take them down, if she really wanted to.

Spark's past self does reflect in her every now and then, and that line about her gaze is an example of that.  What her Zardag people say about her, holds more ground to her, than what she could ever possibly think of herself.

At the beginning, her reference to the ocean and Disneyland, are a reference to her image of Earth. Earth is 70% water, if you're going to crash land somewhere, she'd expect it to be there. And Disneyland is very popular, (and yes she does want to go there) she could understand herself being in those two places, far much more than being locked in a room. 

The sense of how Spark feels about being on Earth and everything else that happened, is shown more in the next chapter. In this first chapter, Spark is more concerned about finding out where she is and what happened.

I'll delete the last paragraph, thank you so much for your feedback Julie, I really appreciate it!  

Thank you Kate, I appreciate it!! 

Hey thanks Paul for your feedback! Will definitely cut out some dialogue, and work on everything, thank you!

I've edited it. Sorry about that, the extra space is because I'm longsighted. 

Hey Daniel, thank you so much!! I appreciate it. And I will do something about the length then, thanks!

Added a forum 

This is literally my fourth time posting here, but I'm proud of it, because I've grown each time. I've been editing for a while, and I'm ready to acknowledge how far I've come, and have it put out here, again, to see how much further I have to go. Any feedback is highly appreciated, I wish you all nothing but the best in your own endeavours.

        Chapter One: The Alien Girl from Earth.

Spark was on Earth, that much she knew. But she wasn’t swimming in the planet’s vast oceans, or at Disneyland. In fact, in a 7 billion populated planet, not one other person could be found. So, no, Spark was not lost in Time Square. 

Blue curtains, a security camera, the bed, and a closed white door, Spark inventoried. 

“Hello?” she called out for the 3rd time. “Hello? Er, I’m awake now. Is anyone there?”

Her heart thumped in her chest. Should I try the door? Can’t hurt to go out, I won’t poke around. She just wanted to know where she was, and possibly, what the heck was going on.

 Unfortunately, the security camera still glared at her. 

Just then, the door opened. Spark stared— did it have a telepathic feature? You think about it long enough and then it opens?

Three teenagers entered. Two boys, one girl. All three of them had brown hair and brown eyes, and the younger boy and girl even looked the same age. Definitely siblings.

And totally opposite from me. Spark noted. She was tall and black, with black hair and had been told her gaze made people feel like she was apologizing for her presence. 

Spark sat up on the bed. Were these teens the ones she'd tried to save? Had they realized what she'd done? Did they even know it was a spaceship? 

 You’ve only been on Earth for like two seconds, and already, you’ve exposed yourself, Spark scolded. 

“Hello,” the older of the boys said. 

Spark's eyebrow arched. The older boy’s arms were of hard rippling muscle, accompanied by an outright chest and broad shoulders. He was as muscular as a pro wrestler, but only a teenager.

“Hello.” he repeated.

Spark hesitated, then she spoke. “Hello.”  

The other three side-eyed each other. 

“Hi, how are you?” the older boy asked Spark. 

“Fine.”

There was a pause then he said, 

“You saved our lives. Thank you.”

They knew what Spark had done. Flip!

  “Don’t let Tom's muscles intimidate you.” the younger boy added. “He’s all fluff inside.”

Spark's attention turned to the younger boy. His eyes would dart sharply — was such alertness normal in a human?

“I’m Aya,” the girl said. “This is my twin brother James, and my older brother Tom. What’s your name?”

Spark didn’t answer. 

“What scared her?” Aya asked. “She doesn’t want to talk anymore. Tom, maybe you should leave.”

“Okay.” Tom turned to leave.

Spark felt bad. “I’m not scared of you, Tom.”

Tom wheeled around. “Oh, okay. What are you scared of?”

Spark hesitated. “You guys know I saved you.”

James spoke. “We put two and two together. You’re telekinetic, right?”

Silence. 

“It’s okay.” Tom assured. “We won’t tell anyone. We're also actually —” Aya glowered at him  “— uh, we're good at keeping secrets.”

We’re good at keeping secrets. Interesting. 

Spark’s father had trained her how to read people. Tom was sincere. They weren’t going to tell anyone about her. 

“Thank you.” Spark said genuinely.

 The three exchanged nervous glances. 

“What is it?” Spark asked.

James and Aya looked at Tom to speak. “Er, nothing, nothing… it’s just er, there’s someone you might have to meet.”

Spark didn’t need to hear anything else. “You told someone!”

“Er—”

“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“Yes, I said that now.” Tom countered.

There was nothing else left for it; Spark had to escape. And since she was certain they were aware of her powers— no point in hiding them.

Spark hopped off the bed. 

“Er, where are you going?”

 She went to the curtains and tore them off the rail.

“What are you doing?”

“Should we call for help?” Aya asked.

“And who exactly do you want to call?” Tom murmured.

 Spark used her telekinesis to unscrew the metal curtain railing off the wall. At high velocity, she jammed it through the security camera.

“Shit.” Tom breathed.

 Spark opened the window then climbed onto the window sill. Her grip tightened on the window. On the ground, the cars and people were a blur. Where was she? This wasn’t the area her spaceship landed in. 

“You don’t think she’s going to jump out the window, do you?”

 “Too many people.” Spark mumbled. She got down and strode to the door. Tom blocked her.

“Move.” Spark ordered. 

“You’re running away.”

“What was your first clue?” 

“We only told one person, our father. He just wants to meet you, that’s all.”

“Is your father a good parent?”

“Er, yea.”

“Move out of the way please.” Spark sidestepped Tom but James stepped in and blocked her.

“Our father— he’s different. He'll understand.”

Spark folded her arms. “Understand what, exactly?”

“Understand that you're telekinetic. He'll keep your secret.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“He will, I promise.”

Spark studied James. He seemed serious.

“I meet this father of yours, then I can leave?”

Tom’s eyebrows rose. “You want to leave?” 

“Just take me to your father.”

“Well, uh, actually, you’re going to meet him virtually.”

  

                                                                                ***

 

Tom, James and Aya lead Spark to an interrogation room. She sat with disbelief. Who were these guys?

 The other three stood outside. They watched through the glass wall.

 In front of Spark, the laptop screen came to life. On it, appeared a man seated behind a brown desk. 

“Good afternoon. ” The man said.

Everything from the man's black suit and tie, to his resonating voice, radiated with confidence and power. His jet-black hair and sea-blue eyes made him more intimidating. However, Spark’s demeanor didn’t change. In some ways, the man was similar to her father.

Spark glanced at James, Tom and Aya. They nodded in encouragement.

“Good afternoon.” Spark responded.

“I’d like to know who you are.” The man spoke calmly.

“Are you Franklin?” Spark double checked. 

The man’s blue eyes narrowed. “Yes, I’m Franklin.”

 “I’m Spark.” she said hesitantly.

“Where are you from?” Franklin asked.

“America.” Spark lied.

 “America… Where exactly?” 

Spark's brain froze. “Er, I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

She caved in. “Okay, I’m from another planet. I’m from Earth originally, but I was adopted and raised elsewhere.”

Franklin’s eyebrows shot up. “Where exactly were you raised?”

“Zardag.”

“How far from here?”

“900 solar systems away. We’re in your neighborhood of the galaxy.”

“Hmm… And how did you travel to Zardag?” he said it nice and long, testing out the word.

“Via a spaceship. And er, where exactly am I, right now?”

“That doesn’t matter. I'm assuming you also used a spaceship to return to Earth. Where is it now? What happened to it?” 

 “I want to know where I am.” 

“You’re in England. It's a settlement on Earth.”

“Bournemouth or Sheffield?” Spark asked sarcastically. 

Franklin's eyebrows went up again.

“Yes, I know countries and cities, I got an A* on my Earthology test, but where exactly am I?”

“Don't worry. Everything is sorted out.”

 “What the heck— why won’t you tell me where I am?” Spark thought for a second. “And who are you?”

“I’m Franklin.”

“I’m not dumb, Franklin. You’re keeping me in a ten-story building, there are security cameras everywhere and I'm not even meeting you face to face — who the hell are you?”

 He simply answered. “That does not concern you.”

Spark’s brown eyes turned phosphorescent green. “It concerns me, because you keep asking me questions and I don’t even know who you are.”

James, Tom and Aya entered the room. “Spark, please sit down.” 

She hadn't realized she was standing.  But that didn’t change anything. “No! I want to know what is going on.”

“Spark, we get it, but you have to understand that we’re just as confused as you are.”

Spark paused. She hadn’t considered that. Aya was right.

Spark sat down. “Fine, if I answer your questions, you'll answer mine?” 

Silence.

Spark raised her hand to the security camera. It exploded.

   It didn’t matter who Franklin was, Spark refused to be treated like this. Even if he was the president of the world, she wanted fairness in this. And she wanted answers.

“I want answers!”

“I’ll answer what I want to answer.” Franklin said, safely in his office.

Spark’s anger broke loose. She closed her eyes. Three seconds, two seconds, one second.

BOOM!!!!!!!! A heavy bolt of lightning struck the building. A heartbeat later, the sky cracked loudly in response.

 The walls around them vibrated violently. Dust fell from the ceiling and cracks appeared on the walls.

Out in the corridor, voices yelled and screamed. On the laptop screen, men in black suits gathered around Franklin. Was he leaving? Spark closed her eyes.  Another lightning bolt cackled in the sky.

“He’s the head of the MI6!” Aya shouted. “It’s a military division.”

Spark opened her eyes. She wasn’t shocked to hear who Franklin was— she would’ve been surprised if he were a farmer.

She outstretched her arms, and the shaking building steadied . 

Spark sat down. Franklin blinked at her. 

“Look Franklin, I don’t want to hurt you.” Spark said tiredly. “And unless you force me,  I'm not going to. But I want things fair, If I answer your questions I expect answers to mine too, no matter who you are. I don’t care about the big stuff, I just want to know where I am and what the hell I’m doing here.”

Franklin nodded. “Fair enough.”

Spark rolled her eyes. Oh now he cared about fairness?

Franklin waved his hand and the men dispersed. He straightened his tie. “You’re at the MI6 headquarters. We deal with national security and espionage. You're here because these three brought you after you saved them.”

“What are they even doing here?”

“They work here.”

Spark's eyebrow arched.

“You said you came in a spaceship, what happened to it?”  Franklin asked.

“It self-destructed.”

“Why?”

“So that the head of a military division would stop badgering me about it.” 

Franklin’s manner didn’t change. “Did you come alone?”

“Yes.”

“Are there others like you out there?”

“Like me, as in?”

“Do your species have the same power as you do?”

“I’m an Earthling.” Spark replied.

“Where did you get your power from?”

“I don’t know.” Spark said shyly. “Okay yes, I know how that sounds but it’s true. I went to bed one night on Zardag and then next thing I woke up on a spaceship. All of a sudden I had this power in me and I don’t know where it came from. I don’t even know why I’m here on Earth, I’d go back if I could. ”

“So your powers are recent?”

“Yes.”

“You can control them very well.” It wasn’t a question it was a statement. 

“The spaceship wasn’t just a spaceship, it was a training park.” Spark explained.

“Who trained you?”

“I don’t know. Everything was simulated and run by AI.” 

“Hmm. Okay. Is there anyway to communicate with Zardag?”

“From Earth? I can't think of a way, but they will figure something out to communicate with me.”

“And if they don’t?”

Spark gulped. If they didn’t… 

Or maybe they’re waiting for you at the North Pole .

The AI on the spaceship told Spark to go there. But the most plausible explanation for everything, was she'd been kidnapped onto the spaceship. So she wasn’t going to the North Pole — not for the life of her. 

“How old are you, Spark?” Franklin asked.

“14.” 

“If your Zardag family doesn’t communicate with you, what will you do here on Earth?”

Spark's eyes found their way to the floor.

Franklin, however, leaned forward on his desk. “We could use someone like you here.” 

Spark shook her head. “I don’t think Earthlings are ready to know about aliens, at least not this way.”

“No, I mean here at MI6.”

Spark looked up. Was he out of his mind? He wanted her to work for the MI6?

“No, absolutely no way.”

“Why not? Do you understand what we do?”

“I know James Bond.”

“You do?” 

“Yes."

“How?”

“You upload everything onto the internet, Franklin, it's accessible to anyone from anywhere.”

Franklin sat up. “You use our internet?” 

“We don't use it, we simply extract information to learn about you. It’s important I know where I’m from, so I watch a lot of Earth movies.”

“Real life is different from James Bond.” Franklin said.

“Unless there’s no gun in your pocket, there’s not much of a difference.”

“You’re scared of using a gun?”

“I’m not scared of anything, but the Bible is against killing, so I won’t.”

“You’re Christian?” Franklin asked surprised. 

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Same way I know about James Bond.” 

“Well, that doesn’t change the fact you already killed 7 people last night.”

Spark froze. 

“Your spaceship exploded and killed 7 people. And I believe you moved it with your mind.”

Spark sat paralyzed. What? She'd been trying to save Tom, James and Aya. Had there been other people around? 7 people died.

 Wait...

 How did Franklin know the exact number?”

Spark stood up. ”You're lying! You’re trying to manipulate me into joining your stupid organization. This is why I'll never join. The lies… the manipulation… the “necessary evil” it’s all nonsense to me—killing is killing.”

“I’m not lying. You can ask them.” He referred to the three teenagers who were standing against the wall.

Spark shot her green eyes at them.

“Spark— er— I imagine this is um, hard for you to accept but, er he’s not lying.” Tom said shakily. “You collapsed and the spaceship dropped. It blew up seconds after. It’s not your fault.” he added. “You did save me and my siblings.”

“B-but how does Franklin know the exact number of people that died?”

“Because it was at a MI6 off-site facility.” Franklin answered. “Of course I can know how many people were in there.”

It was like an iron fist clutched Spark’s heart.  She'd killed 7 people. 

Spark sunk back into her chair. Oh God, how?

 Tears filled her eyes. She altered the light reflecting off her face so the others couldn’t see her tears.

Franklin spoke. “Spark, the MI6  is more than just killing— even in the covet action part. There’s more to it.”

Spark now wished he could see her cry. He'd then at least have the decency to shut up.

“I d-don't want—” Spark wiped her tears and took a deep breath. “I don't want to be a spy. I don’t want to live in the shadows or fight— I just want to be a normal teenager and do normal stuff.”

“But you’re not a normal teenager.”

“Screw that.”

“The world has dangerous threats, Spark.” Franklin admonished. “If you have the power to stop them, what would er, God think if you didn’t do it?”

“He wouldn’t want me to kill.”

“Well then, I won't give you a license to kill.” 

“You don’t even really know me or where I am from, yet you’re trusting me to save your world?”

“You won’t be alone. James, Tom and Aya will be there with you too.”

Spark was stunned. Yea, she’d wondered what the other three were doing there— but spies. Nah, she hadn’t seen that one coming. Weren’t they too young to be spies? 

  Then she glanced at Tom— God, what steroids was this boy on?

Franklin continued. “You would be doing it for the good of the world.”

Spark shook her head. “My answer is still no.”

“Is it money? You’ll be paid.”

Spark snorted. “I have money.”

“Money here on Earth?”

Spark glared at him.

Franklin shifted. “Spark, you leave me no choice. I hate to do this but the families of the dead are grieving, justice would mean a lot to them.”

Spark sat up. “Wait…”

“You’re hereby under arrest for the death of two MI6 scientists, a receptionist, a cleaner, a MI6 agent, two guards, and two security dogs.”

Franklin couldn’t arrest her even if he brought the whole military. But that wouldn't stop him from trying and things would get messy. This would be easier if Spark could run away, but these guys mastered in espionage. From behavioral psychology to spy tech, Spark imagined finding her would be like child's play.

She threw her hands in the air. “This job, when do I start?”

Spark wasn’t stupid though. Offering a job to an obvious an alien threat was absurd, even by Earth standards. There was something Franklin wasn't telling her. 

What Spark didn’t know was, she was only going to be part of the MI6 for a few hours. Bigger things were waiting for her.

 

 

When you say the front page, you mean like the homepage?? Try scrolling through the forums, when I have too many notifications I go there. Yea that's the kind of where all the "latest" posts are. 

Added a comment to New Member 

Lovely to meet you Ian, and good luck with everything! 

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