Good folks, nearing the end of my second in series I've met a problem. Two people speak to each other, mostly short sentences. Rarely, I stop the conversation for a short narrative. I attach a sample here, then explain my problem.
“How? You said, 1,300 years.”
That time since your spark, Lord. My part of you saw it all, and I am we, through me you will see when the split-second comes.
A long pause. Stunned faces, and gasps of disbelief.
“And what of my loves, my dear friends, and Jess.”
Their destiny is not yours. And she already replaces part of you in her soul—filling it with that she saved. A mother’s instincts she now possesses— nothing can replace that love.
If the exchange was as short as the example, I'd just insert, 'Angus said,' 'he said' etc etc, as needed. But the scene is long. It closes plot lines, and opens one or two = it's frightfully important. Narrative would drag it out, punchy dialogue may hold the reader's attention, so that's what I try.
COMMENTS: The first line is Angus speaking (readers know this from previous text). The second is a god in the conversation. The third line is narrative of which there is little in the scene. SO, I have Angus speaking inside quotes. The other guy with no quotes. Same with the narrative obviously.
QUESTIONS: Is there any way I can differentiate the sections without having quotes all over the place? (I hope readers will know who is speaking but not sure.) I thought to put the god's words in italics, but thought there would be too many. Ideas? Is there something I can do with the short sections of narrative to differentiate them?
Thanks in anticipation. None of the second book has been edited = the em dashes for now are just filling space. 😁 😎 I've googled this issue but come up short of help. A bit like my earlier book when dreams were the problem.