C Beale

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Added a comment to Cover impact 

Hi Rob,

How to choose? My only comment is that the series title is so much larger than the book title. I would reverse that so people don't think they're reading the same book but with a newly released cover. "A Voice at Culloden" is more appealing to me than "When Gods Clash". When quickly glancing across your post, I thought they were all the same book. 

Typeface comments by others seem legit. Is 'clash' the word you want to use?

You're close, but tweak it to be fabulous!

Thank you. Life is a series of short stories, wouldn't you say?


When I had my interior design business, we had a show biz couple. Both were recognizable names in their own right but the wife always identified herself as 'her name, Mrs. his name'. Using their real names, of course. We always thought it funny.

Sharing my short story from today. There was a post a few days ago about writing humor. I haven't been writing much lately but my experience in the paint store this afternoon inspired me to put a few words to paper. Wanted to share how humor sometimes finds you when you least expect it to.


Twenty Minutes at the Paint Store    by Connie Estes Beale

“I don’t think that’s a color.” The sales woman shakes her head at the receiver in her hand.

“What color’s he want?” A salesman peers over her shoulder at the chart in her hand. She puts her hand over the phone and whispers, “Westin, Westin Cedar.”

“Stain or paint?”

“Is that a stain or a paint?” she asks the caller. “Stain”, she mouths to her associate. He shakes his head and goes back to the guy sitting on a stool at the other end of the counter. 

“You were sayin’, Gus?”

“They look good but don’t reproduce well.”

I look over, perhaps raise an eyebrow.

“Show goats,” Gus explains. “Show goats just aren’t good breeders.”

“That so?” the salesman asks.

Gus nods, turns my direction to possibly check for interest in his subject. I look down at my phone.

“Did you see that color at the resort?” the saleswoman asks the phone. “No? But it’s a stain?”

“If they’re pretty, they just don’t produce much offspring,” Gus offers. “They look good but not worth the money if you’re trying to build a herd.”

“A stain. Okay. Transparent or solid? I still don’t see that color.”

“I went up to a breeder near Chicago for some goat sperm. They wouldn’t guarantee it.” 

“Western?” I offer.

The salesclerk’s eyes light up as understanding dawns. “Western, Western Cedar? Like out west, not like the hotel?”

“Western!” her associate says.

“You misunderstood? No problem. I found it on the chart.”

“You just can’t have pretty and productive. It’s one or the other.”

I begin to giggle.

“Here’s your paint,” another saleslady says as she puts my gallon on the counter.

“Brushes, rollers?” 

“No, I’m good.”

“Sorry for the wait.”

“Worth every penny,” I say with a smile.

Sharing my short story from today. There was a post a few days ago about writing humor. I haven't been writing much lately but my experience in the paint store this afternoon inspired me to put a few words to paper. Wanted to share how humor sometimes finds you when you least expect it to.


Twenty Minutes at the Paint Store    by Connie Estes Beale

“I don’t think that’s a color.” The sales woman shakes her head at the receiver in her hand.

“What color’s he want?” A salesman peers over her shoulder at the chart in her hand. She puts her hand over the phone and whispers, “Westin, Westin Cedar.”

“Stain or paint?”

“Is that a stain or a paint?” she asks the caller. “Stain”, she mouths to her associate. He shakes his head and goes back to the guy sitting on a stool at the other end of the counter. 

“You were sayin’, Gus?”

“They look good but don’t reproduce well.”

I look over, perhaps raise an eyebrow.

“Show goats,” Gus explains. “Show goats just aren’t good breeders.”

“That so?” the salesman asks.

Gus nods, turns my direction to possibly check for interest in his subject. I look down at my phone.

“Did you see that color at the resort?” the saleswoman asks the phone. “No? But it’s a stain?”

“If they’re pretty, they just don’t produce much offspring,” Gus offers. “They look good but not worth the money if you’re trying to build a herd.”

“A stain. Okay. Transparent or solid? I still don’t see that color.”

“I went up to a breeder near Chicago for some goat sperm. They wouldn’t guarantee it.” 

“Western?” I offer.

The salesclerk’s eyes light up as understanding dawns. “Western, Western Cedar? Like out west, not like the hotel?”

“Western!” her associate says.

“You misunderstood? No problem. I found it on the chart.”

“You just can’t have pretty and productive. It’s one or the other.”

I begin to giggle.

“Here’s your paint,” another saleslady says as she puts my gallon on the counter.

“Brushes, rollers?” 

“No, I’m good.”

“Sorry for the wait.”

“Worth every penny,” I say with a smile.


When i clicked on the FNL page link, it brought up an email, not an info page.

The guests probably didn't but it makes us laugh now. My dad used to pretend to play the bugle to wake me up. He thought it funny, perhaps I do now

Comedy and anger play well against each other, especially if it's an absurd situation. Wodehouse' genius often involved characters at odds which made the situations so ridiculous and laugh-til-you-cry funny. Larry McMurtry is also good at setting up those odd-ball moments. One of his best was in 'Terms of Endearment' when Aurora was waiting until the last minute to put on her pantyhose in the muggy Houston heat. Her overly anxious lunch date, in trying to be gentlemanly, sees her pull in the parking lot and rushes to open her door. She's wiggling into her hose as he opens the door and a bus pulls up at the same time and unloads its passengers. Let's say the date went downhill from there. Memorable in its absurdity. But I lived and worked in Houston for several years and totally understood. Thank goodness fashion has changed!

I think of things in my own life where something was so funny I couldn't stop laughing and use it as inspiration. Like the bride with the bow on her dress in the toilet.....

I just sent you a friend request. Once you accept it, you can messenger me on Jericho.

Added a comment to Agent 121 

Lot of 'girls' on this list. Brown Girls, Nice Girls, School for Good Mothers, The Book of Mother, My Sweet Girl, Ballerinas, The Maid, The Sisters Sweet. 

Good grief! I'll take an English historical novel over this any day. Where's Boudica when you need her?

I'm allergic to cats but if you want to messenger me 2 or 3 pages, I'll let you know if it's something I can allot time for. My writing is aimed at commercial women's fiction.

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