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deborah Discussions
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Hi all! I appreciated so much all your constructive feedback on my query letter   and synopsis (than…
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  •  · Hey Chris, thanks a million for that feedback.  A simple  adjustment that I failed to see  has made …
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Thanks so much once again to all  those who gave me feedback  on my query letter and synopsis the ot…
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  •  · Hi Deborah,I'm going to email you a few notes and feedback. Meanwhile after reading the above commen…
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Hi all!  I would be so delighted  to get a peer review on a query letter and synopsis of a book I wr…
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  •  · Hi folks,  I am so delighted with your wonderful feedback and very grateful to each of you! These ar…

Hey Chris, thanks a million for that feedback.  A simple  adjustment that I failed to see  has made all the difference!  Brilliant! Can I just ask, when you say 'everything above that, I would lose' do you mean  just the previous sentence?

Also can I check what you meant when you suggested I start my query letter the same way...

I'm so glad what you said about the memoir. Because it was my experience, I felt it had to be a memoir but I was a little ill at ease about it -  that esp having written it quite a while back and feeling it was now sort of obsolete. As  a novel there is greater freedom of course. I was just worried that I'd have to re write the whole  darn thing and hadn't a clue how. And as it's very episodic and we rarely meet the same characters twice (bar the protagonist)  I felt it could only be a memoir! Some of writers here on Jericho  have also questioned the memoir thing  and it was really got me rethinking this. I'm delighted.  Perhaps there is a simpler way to re fashion it as a novel and not half as daunting as I had myself belief!

A big thanks for those really constructive  comments, Chris!😊

Hi Amy!

thank you so much for your comments - much appreciated! It was a nice little boost of confidence! Just on the whole suitcase/cobbles racket  thing, it's funny you felt it was exaggerated. It actually wasn't!!  I remember many times dragging a heavy suitcase along cobbles in Paris and literally dying of mortification with the noise! And the Parisien -  never ones to suffer in silence, would look on askance - that I don't miss but most other things I do!! A fair point about the phrases - so easy to forget your reader - thanks again Amy!😊

Hi guys, your feedback has been incredibly  constructive. Plenty of food for thought here - thank you all so much!  Finally seeing the light of where I've been going wrong!  😊 👍👍

Added a forum 

Hi all! I appreciated so much all your constructive feedback on my query letter   and synopsis (thank you so much again!) and was so curious to know if this version was any better. The book itself has a lot of humour in it but that isn't coming across in either query letter or synopsis and wondered if that mattered. The comp titles aren't great either and not sure it gives much of an idea -. maybe better to leave out?

Also the synopsis I had to write in 11 font and wondered if that's also acceptable or must it really be 12?  I've worked a little on the arc (it's still not brilliant) but wonder if it at least gives  a sense of a journey and conclusion. Any feedback greatly appreciated!😊😊

Hi there Paul. I seem to have missed this reply - lovely to hear from you again. How are you  getting on? Did you manage to tune into any of the webinars? I replayed the slush pile one today and will listen to the pitch one tomorrow.  I was so impressed with the query letters. they were so well written I thought  but it struck me how long they seemed. I had been trying to whittle mine down quite a bit but now  I wonder if I need to expand a little more!😯

Anyway I may post it again when I've edited it - that's if people aren't fed up with my repeated posts! 😉

Hope all good you end.. take care!

Hi Donna, you have made my day with your comments - that you couldn't stop really is encouraging to here  - merci beaucoup! This has been a labour of love for such a long time. I started it in Paris when I lived there then chipped away at it for years then lost heart when I was getting rejections. But I don't think I helped myself at all with my query letter and synopsis. There is a lot more humour in the book as it progresses but none of that comes across in either query letter or synopsis (bar me saying it which is a little on the nose!)  There are also themes that I explore but again hard to capture in a one -page synopsis. I will try though, buoyed up as I am by the great feedback!   And I'm also dying to know what you're up to in Paris at the moment? You mentioned been there since lockdown. How has that been? Would love to chat more and see what you're up to writing -wise! Thanks again!

Hi Paul, 

Wow thank you for this - I didn't expect a marked up version! This has given me a huge boost to crack on with this - so fantastic to have another pair of eyes as you tend to get snow blind by things you just don't see! Can I ask, Is the usual length of a synopsis just  one page ?   I'm doing a new edit now  and aiming for that - thanks again Paul. Hope there's sunshine today where you are!😎 

Added a forum 

Thanks so much once again to all  those who gave me feedback  on my query letter and synopsis the other day. I was  bowled over by all the insightful and constructive  comments   and am all set tomorrow (Paddy's day!) to do an edit. Someone suggested I post the first few chapters so I'm doing just that now. I'm hoping it'll be an entertaining read and would love to hear what you think!  Thank you all! 😊☘☘

Sounds like you've clocked up a lot of experience, Paul! Fair play. I'm thinking of putting up my first two/three chapters again  rather than sticking it at the end of the posts as I did..  might as well go for it 😊  .Have you had any feedback on your chapters?

Hi Paul. I thought this synopsis  was great,  well written, clear, concise and I didn't find anything that jarred or felt clumsy.  And the feedback from Caron was first rate!  Have you an agent looking to read the  manuscript already?

Added a comment to peer review 

Hi folks,  I am so delighted with your wonderful feedback and very grateful to each of you! These are great insights, things I completely overlooked. I think after a while you just get a bit snow blind and fail to see the obvious!

Just a few things to say in response. A friend of mine (a published author herself)  wrote this short synopsis for me a few years ago. She loved the book and really championed me at that time and I used this synopsis ever since. So I agree that it sounds like a blurb in parts. I should have taken this in hand sooner and rewritten myself but I found it so hard as it was so episodic.   Also I should have mentioned that the book is very much centred around cafes. In fact every chapter is the name of a cafe and was originally a sort of  quirky narrative  guide book. 

A small thing re the J character. You're right Paul. I shouldn't have used the single initial. In the book I thought it might add some intrigue but it really doesn't! Thanks for that. I will def amend that!

The first two chapters were the hardest to write though I've rewritten by now a million times! The rest of the book probably has more humour in it than these initial chapters which are always harder as it's the setting up. So I've bitten the bullet and attached the 3 chapters here and really I hope you'll enjoy the read -  if nothing else a  nice bit of escapism to Paris while we're in lockdown!  I'll attach the query letter too in case it's hard to see. 

Thank you all guys. I'll take a look at what you're all at  writing wise too!😊👍

And Libby just re reading the editing on the query letter - that is just fantastic, thank you, thank you!

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