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Let's start at the very beginning.

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For seven years she had fed and clothed a child she despised. With war looming, could she lure his f…
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  •  · Hey Richard!Love the title of your story. I read your chapters and I think you have the beginnings o…
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That night he had been lucky. This time she must not fail. 
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  •  · hi Richard,Jon's already given you some very good detailed feedback, and I'm a novice writer so I wo…

Hello Phil. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Many valid comments. If you go to messenger I'll go into more detail. Also I've read your opening chapter, will discuss. Thanks Richard

Hi Paul. Doing something wrong on this messenger thing. Tried to reply to you, but it dumped me out. Could you load first three chaps + synopsis again and I'll have another go. Richard 

As above Jon. Intriguing, opens up a myriad of possibilities. Hope you're feeling better 

Hi Paul, sorry about the delay, been busy for the past couple of days, trying to find petrol.(or gas if you live in the states.) Anyway this is the second book in a trilogy. First one dealt with the assassination of Hitler and its aftermath. Shelved it for now, needs a lot of work. There will be a sequel to this one, starting soon. Enough about me. Tell me what you're working on would love to read any WIP or anything you've finished. After I've sent this, can we talk on messenger? Regards Richard. 

Thanks Paul, Opening scenes, difficult at best especially in thrillers. The need to balance settings, against beginning the action can be mind numbing. I must have rewrote the first page a dozen times, and I'm still not entirely happy with it. I've taken on board your suggestions and it makes it flow better. The book is finished, and if you're interested I'll send you the complete MS. But I don't want to burden you if you're busy. Thanks again for your time.


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For seven years she had fed and clothed a child she despised. With war looming, could she lure his father to America to reclaim his son?

Well I never knew that. All the wasted hours copying and pasting. Thanks Tom

HI MIr, thanks for taking the time to read my first chapter. The novel is complete, just working my way through the editing process. Yes milling throng needs re-working and maybe one or two others as well. As for the cop's concern. I should have mentioned the boy was locked out of the car that may have aroused the cop's suspicions. This is the second novel in a trilogy. And the last chapter of the first book maybe should have been the first of this one. It gives a clearer picture of Gretchen's dilemma. 

 Now it's in the hands of the F.B.I. a torn envelope may seal Gretchen's  fate. Inside Photos of the boy beaten black and blue and an accompanying letter addressed to Reinhard Heydrich's wife, threaten dire consequences if they do not co-operate. Heydrich the architect of Hitler's assassination and vice chancellor of Germany wanted revenge. The woman had kidnapped his son and nobody humiliated him and lived to tell the tale. That bastard had murdered Dieter, and this time Gretchen would not fail. An innocuous cornfield in Iowa may hold the key to the future.      

Thanks Jon for your relevant comments. Must say I didn't notice the switch of POV, and I can now see how it jars when read. Awful tendency to alter sentences and paragraphs then just plough on. Achilles heel is grammar. 52 years since I left school. During that time span I've not had a lot of use for the written word. Working in engineering the predominant need is to be able to read technical Drgs. I'm afraid English comes a poor second. 

Thanks again Richard          

Thanks John appreciate your comment. Portly is a little to civilised for me.

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That night he had been lucky. This time she must not fail. 

If you had stopped at looming in the shadows. It would have been very good.

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