• 800
Sarita Discussions
  •  ·  70
  •  · 
It seems the Book Club has gone a bit dead, so I thought I'd give a recommendation for anyone who's …
  •  · 
  •  · 
  •  · I've enjoyed all her books despite their length (although I find her hero Lynley faintly implausible…
  •  ·  95
  •  · 
What stage do you print your manuscript? Before or after the layers of editing?I've done the structu…
  •  · 
  •  · 
  •  · What do you mean by 'big chunky edits', Holly? The bigger picture stuff? (structure?)
  •  ·  104
  •  · 
OK, straight-up confession: I've never read any Marian Keyes and hadn't even heard her name until I …
  •  · 
  •  · 
  •  · Ha, I wonder if her sympathetic and rounded men are based on 'himself', her partner she often refers…
  •  ·  76
  •  · 
In case any of you are interested, this is on this coming
  •  · 
  •  · 
  •  · Looks interesting. Thanks, Sarita!
  •  ·  158
  •  · 
Is it just me, or does this happen to you too?I sit down to write (yes, this is the day I'll really …
  •  · 
  •  · 
  •  · Take care!
  •  ·  157
  •  · 
Help! I'm suddenly receiving soooo many emails about chats on here. Everything was fine until I acce…
  •  · 
  •  · 
  •  · The email notifications setting is under the email tab

My manuscript has gone to my mentor for second round feedback. Time to sharpen the saw. 😅 

Interesting concept. Well done.

Yes, me too. My first manuscript was rejected by everyone who saw it, mostly with an anodyne reply. I only really liked one rejection response, though I'd have liked it more if it had been an offer of representation 😆 

You might want to treat yourself to some special teabags or even a nice new teapot/cup because agents are quite generous with rejections. Fingers crossed you'll be swapping tea for champers soon though 😉  

Oops, missed 'heard'. Too focussed on the looking! ;-)

Don't know if I'm too late here, but a lot will depend on the age of your protagonist. Publishers have the idea that kids 'read up' which means the protag will be 3-4 years older than them. I slightly disagree because my kids often read about characters the same age or only slightly older then them, but I think you'd better go with the publishers ideas here ;-)

So the first thing I'd do is look at that. Then I'd say your word count is really high for MG and you might be asked to cut it down if you're aiming below 13 and even if you're aiming slightly above. 

Hope that helps.

Hi Nissa. I'm in the SCWBI Facebook group, but I'm not a fully paid up member. Part of the reason is I live in Spain so the major advantage of being part of a writing group that SCWBI offers is a bit more complicated and I'm not sure I'd get enough out of it.

Welcome to the group.


Well done, David; that's great news. It says a lot about the 1-2-1s too. Fingers crossed for you.

The advice above sounds pretty good to me, I'd definitely give them a nudge.

Yes, I understand that in some contexts, when what comes after is what the narrator is actually seeing, it can be simply deleted. But there are many instances with 'look' or similar looking verbs where it's use describes for the reader the actions of the characters involved, perhaps it describes their changed focus. For example:

‘Where are you from?’ 

I paused, momentarily, then carried on sketching.

‘Here.’ I didn’t look up. I didn’t want to see her face.

‘Really? But you sound kind of … different.’ Now I looked up. ‘I mean, it’s weird because you don’t, but then you do.’ She snort-laughed. Shrugged.

Here, I especially want to contrast her NOT looking at one point to her giving in and looking in the following dialogue line.

Another example:

She switched pencils and started shading the underbelly of her dog with the soft lead. Then silence. I looked up. Her pencil was poised over the page, her head cocked to one side. I followed the line of her eyes. The unfamiliar boy...

Here I see I could eliminate 'I looked up' but this action is caused by the silence and it takes the reader through the scene to help visualise it, like blocking in a play, I suppose.

One more example (she's been sent a cryptic picture by Frankie):

I examined the scrap of paper. Turned it over. And back again.

‘Why would he…?’ I heard the crazies’ in-joke tittering and looked back at Frankie to see his tongue protruding from his mouth, wagging. 

So here (similarly to no. 2) her looking is caused by the tittering and then leads to her seeing Frankie's stupid expression - to me it seems critical to creating the picture, almost like a series of camera shots would lead the viewer through the bits s/he should be focussing on to grasp the story effectively. 

Am I just way off mark here?

Having done the full sweep of common filtering words now, I see my biggest issue is 'look'. Weird thing is I'm loathe to change it though - it almost feels like 'look' is a fairly neutral verb (like 'said' in dialogue tags) and changing it to a stronger verb like glance, glimpse, stare, peer, etc. if anything draws more attention when I just want the reader to see the scene in their head, There's definitely a place for the stronger verbs but I hate to use them when I just want to show some simple blocking moves. <big sigh>

Anyone else have a 'look' problem?

Full Name:
Friends count:
Followers count: