Jimmy

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A husband, a father. Short story writing, long story procrastinating. Would really like a piece of me to be on this planet forever.

Hate social media. Love my own company. Need a cave if anyone has one for sale. Or even just a cubby hole.

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Jimmy Discussions
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I'd like to share this rework of a seemingly controversial short story I posted a while back. Hopefu…
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  •  · Thanks Kate. As it happens, as you write that, I'm analysng the wonderful feedback you have all give…
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Hello Townhouse. I'd like to pick your brains.I've recently written a short story that is set in Ken…
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  •  · Talk about confusing. It really depends on where you'd like to market it. The UK press I asked respo…
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Hello Townhouse. This post is to highlight the benefits of this community.Firstly, due to my introve…
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  •  · Thank you so much, Lisa. Very kind of you to say so. It wouldn't have happened without the help of t…
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Hello residents of Townhouse. In light of recent conversation about feedback being publicly accessib…
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  •  · Cool, thanks, Christa. And welcome.
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This made me chuckle.https://youtu.be/arj7oStGLkUAre you a serial procrastinator? If so, how do you …
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  •  · I like to tell myself that procrastination is part of the creative process and allows my sub-conscio…
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Hello everyone. I've pulled a version of an old story out of the archives to play around with, and w…
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  •  · I guess so. The translator herself won an award for the book. 

Yes! Get in! Loved the story, Jon. Well done. And rest up.

I don't know about beautiful, but thanks.
Do you ever have days where you really can't be bothered to write the story? It's quite the commitment thinking one up every day.

They never fail to put a smile on my face.

Fantastic! Well done Reidr. Great stuff.

Good shout out Caron, we must all celebrate Lynn's greatness. All hail Lynn. 

Well done, Lynn. Proud of you.

Hello Georgina. As a 6' 2" black man, I can relate to how both parties would feel in this situation. I keep distance and sometimes even cross roads when passing women at night. I notice discomfort in body language: Taking phones out of pockets, moving handbags or holding them more secure etc.

I myself don't shy away from writing about sensitive issues. Some have of which people have helped me with here before. I believe anything should be allowed to be written about. But his is a tricky one to judge without reading the rest of the manuscript and knowing your character. If other scenes show her in this kind of light, this scene gives more insight into confirming her character. Otherwise, having the colour at the forefront of the description could be a red flag to some readers and possibly alienate them. Similarly to describing a council estate's tenants as, lets say, probably looking at newspaper pictures because they're unable to read them. (May be a bad example but I'm sure you get the drift).

When I hear people talking and hear them say, This black bloke came over, or A black woman said this or that, I think to myself, you didn't really need to mention the colour of their skin. But I suppose it is the same with any majority race speaking about a minority.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, I think this passage would work if it serves a purpose later, but if it stands alone it might unnecessarily take the focus away from your story.

I hope this helps. Good luck with it.

Fantastic news. Well done. Yep, everything crossed for the mentorship.

Hi Janet. This is a lovely extract. I agree with your editor. Names of violence could be read as literal. I.e. Bludgeon Street, or Masacre Road. The extra words add the literary effect for me.

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