I attach an edit - it's still on the long side. And I think you perhaps give too much away about the denouement. These query letters are a complete headache!
A VOICE AT CULLODEN is a supernatural thriller complete at 81,000 words. It is a stand-alone novel with series potential set in present-day America and Scotland.
Humble U.S. Marine Lieutenant Angus MacDonald, is a warrior when threatened. Ancient powers chose him, designed him in fact, circa 750 AD. The gods of Olympus created a genetic pathway through the centuries; 1,270 years later, his genes have passed through many generations of Norse and Scots.
When Angus the man, sets foot on Culloden battlefield, where his clan perished, supernatural events are triggered and Angus' soul accepts the risk of death thrust upon it by unknown entities. Baffled, Angus is impelled to find a mystical silver box, lost by the Gods when the British routed the MacDonald Highlanders three centuries earlier. He finds the relic, and is visited by Hades, who wants the silver box. Beset by impossible odds, Angus’ hopes lift when new friends rally round. But Hades has rebelled against Zeus and threatens to enslave humanity.
This threat follows him back to America. Tragedy strikes during a battle and Hades wields dark forces that render guns useless. Conflict rages from Washington D.C. out to the Great Plains as Angus and friends strive for victory. A lifetime of training and centuries of divining have ill prepared Angus for the terrible consquences of this battle. For the sake of Earth, he must rage back.
Shayne Silvers’ Ascension has similar themes, though Joseph Nassise’s Darkness Reigns is closer in plot. This story is Earth based, with only minor excursions into close space.
Since childhood, stories of Rob Roy MacGregor, Robert the Bruce, and the ancient Greek heroes have filled my soul. I know them intimately; their tales light the back story of this novel. Writing fills most of my days since retiring from a career in finance.