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Webinar on elevator pitches - let's chat

Hi folks, If you're a JW member and were on the elevator pitch webinar tonight, then feel free to ask any questions here. Or just chat. What was your favourite pitch? There were some good uns!

I'll dip in and out of this chat over the next day or two so keep an eye on it. NB - I'll post the replay link as soon as I have it

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  • Glad it was helpful! Sometimes it's just having an outsider's perspective isn't it? I think someone somewhere could make a huge amount of money just helping people with their EP's ;) 

    That EP is sounding really good. Just wondering...

    An artist, a playwright and a psychopath's interwoven love-lives cast them as rivals for an heiress who must marry to inherit.

    I was sort of trying to maximise that inner conflict the MC has- the time pressure she might be under and the fact she might actually not want so many suitors- or she may worry about the motives of them. (Also, I think the 'pushing limits' is implicit- there would clearly be tension in such a situation so in my opinion, you don't need to explain it) :)

    I think, if it is a historical piece, maybe sticking the year at the beginning would be good- gives some sort of context about the type of characters you will be reading about (after all the presentation of each would be different in the 1930s than today- and the wider societial pressures would be different too). 

    i.e. 1932, an artist....

    Just throwing some thoughts your way :) Sounds really great -I would absolutely read this! 

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    • Wow Emily thank you for saying that. I was just saying to Dawn that I was totally on with writing but then the EP webinar threw me totally sideways and felt like I couldn't go on without clarifying the EP.

       I feel like I've got it now thank to you guys. I feel so grateful that you guys have replied and totally helped me out. It's so kind. 

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      • Hi Emily

        Hehe- an EP service, I would go for! Think that you're on to something there. 

        Thanks so much for the feedback, I was just saying to Dawn above that from the EP webinar I lost a load of confidence in the story (although I'm still totally obsessed with it, the strange conflict being a writer!??!) so that is really motivating to hear that you would read it. Yey! 

        I will pick it back up and keep going- armed with my new EP that will permeate throughout each page. I am so grateful to you for taking the time to feedback and helping me along the way. Thank you! 

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      • OhMyGOSH!! This has been such a challenging and illuminating exercise.  I must have written about 30 different (mostly terrible) elevator pitches since the session, and about the same number before, over the long painful years of trying to get this novel into a publish-able state.
        BUT.... BUT... (!!!!!) I think I've FINALLY cracked it (after much walking, wailing, gnashing of teeth and mainlining of coffee). And ALSO I think it's going to completely revolutionise Draft 15hundred&thirtyseven.  It's going to have to be a rewrite.

        OUCH.

        But it's now going to be a rewrite with focus and purpose.

        harrybingham THANK YOU so much! I never really "got" elevator pitches before the session, even though I recognised a good one when I saw it. You have completely nailed it for me. So here's the pitch:

        Hannah (13) and Josh (3) are left to fend for themselves on a tough London estate.

        They think their brilliant mum’s in Hollywood but tragically she’s been Sectioned.

        Mum's ‘dreams’ threaten to tear the family apart, while Hannah fights to hold all their dreams together.

        ALL feedback (be brutal I can take it) gratefully received.
        PLUS you really liked the pitch for my next book, Mr Bingham - The Munchausen by Proxy one - so I think it's got legs and I'm cracking on with the first draft, in between bouts of tearing my hair out and project managing a 12 year old with online school refusal and an Alan Sugar complex.

        Innit tho.


        Blessings on everyone's head.
        J

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        • No pressure Catherine. I am never under pressure (except when I am) but it was a good exercise for me.

          Moved house two days ago, from Eastbourne back to London, and am busy cutting an inpenetrable forest of brambes from a garden ledt untouched for some years. Hands knackered and can hardly write. I'll do a Bingham now . . .

          'Fed up with writing? Want to retire and cut brambles? Contact for details.'

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          • Hey, how about a swap . . . folks, you cut my killer brambles and I'll write your killer pitch.

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            • Thank you for this.  I think it's getting closer! Hope the brambles are forgiving on your hands.  The only tip I can offer in return is two pairs of gloves...  Good luck with settling in your new place.

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            • Hi- you  guys have already been so so generous with your time and thoughts on here. I am really grateful.  I'm sorry to be tenacious (blessing and a curse etc) but what do you think of this EP?

              Be brutal- I would rather hear it from you guys then an agent! 

              1930’s England- an artist, a playwright and a psychopath are pushed to their limits when their interwoven lives cast them as rivals for the love of an heiress.


              It's definitely been a team effort- which I am eternally grateful for. It's just that I've just moved the heiress bit at the end to make it more specific (thank you again for the advice on that emilymartins )

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              • Catherine, remember, the EP is primarily for you, not the agent. They get the cover letter and synopsis. This is about the strengthening of the core.

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                • Thanks Sally- that is really helpful!! The psycho is worryingly my favourite bit too :-) 

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                  • Hehe thank you- its about the billionth try and I've only just settled on one with massive help from you guys. 

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                  • Hi Catherine, just wondering if I might do something like:

                    1930’s England- an artist, a playwright and a psychopath find themselves rivals for the love of an heiress.

                    I think Sally is right, the 'pushed to the limits' bit is the vaguest (something I struggled with SO much in my own EP) and actually, I really think it's implicit given they are all fighting for the love of a woman. From an outsider's perspective, I would expect the story to involve them pushing themselves and the inner/outer turmoil that would ensue. Similarly for their interwoven lives- I'm guessing they are more interwoven than simply the connection to the heiress, but again, that is something I would somewhat expect from the story and so I'm not sure it needs to be added- that suggestion above is 18 words - and personally I don't think it's lost the key elements. 

                    And one more thought which may have you rolling your eyes at me ;) I wonder if you could mention something about your MC own feelings? I think the EP would sing if you had the juxtaposition between these interesting characters fighting each-other for the same goal and the MC's own contrasting goal. At the moment, she comes across a little passive (which I'm positive she is not!!). I think it would also make me (and hopefully agents) instantly care about the turmoil and root for her even more. I don't know your plot well enough to suggest anything- and perhaps that's off the mark, but I would feel a real tug to the story if I could see her conflict within that situation...

                    I'm so pleased you are feeling more positive about your story again!! And yes, I think we all experience the angst of a hot-and-cold love affair with our own ideas ;) 

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                    • They are extremely valuable points thank you. 

                      What a brilliant idea about how she feels! Thank you- yes she is extremely active (and mostly a bit naughty) but she finds true love with the playwright, who is a woman. She realises that love is important after being brought up being told it's not (hence going for the psycho). 

                      1930's England- an artist, a playwright and a psychopath find themselves rivals to wed an heiress but will she fight for her own love? 

                      I think that sums it up really. Thank you a million- it's really so kind of you! 

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                    • Hi Everyone, my EP would appreciate your comments:

                      In her White Sphere, the forgotten place where life begins, Pupi longs to meet her parents in the flesh. But an omen reveals she may not even make it to her mother's womb.

                      Thank you

                      Gianluca 

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